Please help i'm almost there for the love of god please help

Bro, I have no clue when do these urges come to an end? I recently managed 10 days no PMO...but the urges I have been having were freaking Mind-killing! I would come to the point point of typing like a porn site address and be so tempted to click...Yesterday I gave way. I only hope that with time, those urges will go...and even if we let our guards down once in a while, we will come back stronger and have the upper hand on those urges. We never give up in this fight against the enemy within. All the best man, lets get right back into in!

 

Thinking about your wife is still better than looking at porn, though you may want to stay away from masturbation altogether. You will get a lot of benefits is you don't use porn, but if you want to reach a full reboot, abstaining from MO too, is advisable.

When does the urges go away? When the brain adapts itself to the idea of not having an orgasm regularly. For me, it was around Day 40. Until then you endure.

 

For me the urges became unbearable between week 2 and week 3. For one week I would feel the urge become stronger and stronger up to a unbearable point at around day 21. Afterwards, the urges subsided, and the next time they came around I could manage them much more easily, without going insane. If you can make it to 30 days, I am pretty confident you can make it all the way. People who make it beyond this point rarely relapse.

 

Hello mate, I admire your strength!

But can you have sex with your wife ? No need to suffer so much

 

I'm unfamiliar with the feeling you described, but I don't think it would hinder your reboot. Don't watch porn, don't jerk off, and let your brain and body restore itself to factory defaults.
Anything else you experience is not harmful. I think.

 

I'm just curious - what's the reason you can't have sex with your wife? Seriously, your answer may have a big influence on how to help you through the temptations.

In my case, I had given up PMO for about a week before I told my wife. She didn't even know I had a porn problem before that. Fortunately, she understands the nature of addiction and was hurt but immediately supportive. We don't have intercourse all that often because she's on a medication that really reduces her libido. But to help me succeed she and I came up with a cue that I could use to tell her that I was struggling a lot that day, and then pretty soon (no kids around, etc.) she would find a private place to "give me a hand" so to speak. Sometimes that got her turned on and led to intercourse.

For me, the goal was and remains to have all of my sexual energy and desire directed to my wife. It used to be directed largely toward porn, and it's a process of retraining the brain. So, the ONLY way I get O is from my wife.

Hey, it felt awkward at first asking for a hand job. (That's why we made a secret signal. It felt less awkward.) But awkward is a small price to pay to shift my sexual desire from fake women on the internet to my wife whom I love and who loves me and pleases me as an act of love - not obligation.

I hate to break it to you but the temptation doesn't go away completely, and this morning I was feeling really horney and my wife really couldn't spare a minute because she was late for a meeting. But she looked at me with love and said, "But if you wait until tonight..." Guess what. I'm waiting!

By the way, for me the main reason I can't M is because I know that it will act as a trigger to porn. For me, porn is the enemy. I used to think that P led to M, but I know now that M also leads to P because they are so closely connected in my brain.

Hope this helps!

 

Dunellen: Just want to say that's a really positive and inspiring post, sounds like you have a really open and supportive relationship with your wife and I admire that. I don't know if I could ever bring myself to tell my wife about my secret and desperate world of porn/fantasy/masturbation of which she has not even an inkling, there is just so much I am ashamed of. The discovery of this site alone has helped to make it less of a lonely struggle.

Someone1000 mentions 'reboot' a lot. I'm not quite sure what the exact definition of reboot is....?