I have often wandered how addicts after kicking there addiction were able to do so well. Anyway I am 33 I have been in 2 serious relationships in m life and have always had few friends the first one was a relationship fueled with problems but we were in love and had a child as the years roled by she lost interest started too hook up with other guys. f*** sakes One even came to the house to pick her up so I walked out to the parking lot attempted too open his door and invited him outside so she yelled at me that my daughter was inside save him and me Me from a trip to the jailhouse for the long haul and I had a little girl to look after inside with nothing left I could do I returned inside. If your reading this and wandering what the point is I am getting to the point of my self destructive nature this was right around the time it was pointed out I had an addiction too porn we had family councilling and it was a topic at that time I didn't think it was a problem then. After a long depressing road too getting over this girl and living without my daughter fast forward too several years later now I have no friends the 2 women I have had relationships lef t me I needed to make a change turning to alcohol was a common crutch so I knocked that off and started reading on self improvement in my searches was the symptoms of porn addiction and I pretty much had everyone porn had to go. I have been exercising regularly the past few weeks and been off porn about the same a couple of days ago I discovered this forum on this path to become better and decided it could be worth a try I am only on day 3 but between regular exercise meditation and this no fapp thing as you call it I have had positive results. Day 1 only thinking about quitting this challenge every 5 minutes....still made it Day 2 felt like a machine at work Day 3 went to the gym on day 1 still sore day at gym wtf hammered out twice my normal workout but as I was on the rowing machine and forearms felt like they were going snap I was overwhelmed with clarity to what I had become I let myself become this nothing I hate and that's why everyone left my side I can't even stand me normally I would have to hell with this and then go wolloe by myself in self pity. But that was not even a thought I just continued rowing with tears rolling down my eyes than full for sunglasses and no one else there continuing to row my arms suddenly weren't tired anymore and my thoughts shifted to things I had accomplished great feats like winning a competition or summiting a mountain and things I could do again. Ready to accept this challenge called life. One i
