I love music. I don't listen to it much though, too much chaos in my house due to kids running everywhere, and the kids... well, their music tastes, let's just say they don't align with mine. I got to thinking while journaling, certain music pulls out our emotions. The right music can bring emotional relief in the moment. Sometimes the right music strips us to our core and helps us find clarity, compassion, or understanding. If you don't mind, I'd love for you share any music that brings out your emotions. I told my wife about my porn problems. She didn't want to know, she just hated me for it. I can't blame her, but it hurts, we both hurt, it always hurts. "You don't care enough for me to cry" I want to quit. I try, but I can't figure out why I keep failing. I know the pain I cause, why isn't the pain enough to make me stop? "using again" At some point, we all find out that we missed so much, lost so much time due to our addiction. Time we will never get back, moments and opportunities lost to time forever. But, I am here. I want to be here, with you. Let me stay, let me be with you. "I'll follow your trail" You know I have failed so many times. I am stronger than this. Give me another chance, do you remember who you married? "I am not afraid"
I am "Jeremiah". Oh Jeremiah, tell me what have you done. Get away from me. You've ruined everything. I'm damaged. "Can't be loved" She can't get that feeling of betrayal out of her head. "Rosemary" Our anger has been building. It's time to overflow. I'm not ready to give up, I will fight for our marriage. "Down to the river" It's over. "There was a time" when I called you mine. Our home is empty.
Music is very powerful. We have made it a priority in our lives and we love sitting together and playing cards or just snuggling while listening to music. We don't have a TV but we do have a BIG sound system.
I think I like the "Not afraid" song the best. I'm going to tell my husband @Browns4life to listen to your songs because I think he could relate to a lot of them and I also think he would like the music a lot too! Songs and lyrics mean so much to me and my husband too! It might sound silly but right after we discovered this was an addiction that he was struggling with I made us a playlist for us. We already had one but I wanted the new one to reflect where we wanted to go. I put in this song Hope that works. I'll paste the lyrics here in case you are not a John Mayer fan or in case I didn't post it right. lol Love is a Verb Love is a verb It ain't a thing It's not something you own It's not something you scream When you show me love I don't need your words Yeah love ain't a thing Love is a verb Love ain't a thing Love is a verb Love ain't a crutch It ain't an excuse No you can't get through love On just a pile of I-O-Us Love ain't a drug Despite what you've heard Yeah love ain't a thing Love is a verb Love ain't a thing Love is a verb So you gotta show, show, show me Show, show, show me Show, show, show me That love is a verb You gotta show, show, show me Show, show, show me Show, show, show me That love is a verb Love ain't a thing Love is a verb We have a lot more on our playlist but that is one that I have been singing this morning so I thought I'd share.
I enjoy John Mayer. Thanks for the song link, I had never heard it before. I was in the car with the wife yesterday and decided to play it. Being an proactive participant in our marriage is always something I have struggled with. "Love is a Verb" reminded me that I have a lot of work to do in that arena.
I meant to write in this thread a bit sooner than this but life always seems to get in my way! @JustADude, I'm happy that the song I posted seemed to resonate for you. I'm sorry that you have felt that you have struggled with being a proactive participant in your marriage. I don't know your story (I haven't read your journal or anything) but your last post seemed so sad and I'm very sorry for that. Although, I suppose this is not the place to come for the happiest stories of all time. lol Anyway, I was thinking, does your wife share the same affinity for music that you do? If so maybe you could make her a playlist, just as you did in the thread, and write about what each song means to you in terms of your relationship with her. I guess this is the equivalent of a mixed tape in the 80's so it might be slightly cheesy, but I personally think it's a sweet gesture. I love when my husband has me listen to a song that he heard that he says reminds him of me or us. Just a thought for you...you obviously know your wife better than I do. I thought I would add another song for you. I think you might like. It's become one of my new favorite songs and reminds me of how I want to live my life now. Hope you enjoy! Tomorrow Never Comes Zac Brown Band I've been climbing my way through the sky Searching for answers that I'll never find Losing my breath as I fall Learning to fly, letting go of it all Learning to fly, letting go of it all I'm gonna live Like tomorrow never comes There's no end in sight Tonight we black out the sun Better hold on tight Before you know it's gone And live like tomorrow never comes I've been trying to open my eyes Take it all in as the world passes by Getting lost in the twists and the turn Finding these questions inside me still burn Finding these questions inside me still burn I'm gonna live Like tomorrow never comes There's no end in sight Tonight we black out the sun Better hold on tight Before you know it's gone And live like tomorrow never comes I keep looking for some kind of sign Trying to hold on in this race against time I can't say where the next bend might be That is the beauty in life's mystery That is the beauty in life's mystery I'm gonna live Like tomorrow never comes There's no end in sight Tonight we black out the sun Better hold on tight Before you know it's gone And live like tomorrow never comes There's no end in sight For tonight we black out the sun
@JustADude I just wanted to say thanks for this thread. As my wife (GID) said music is very important to us. Its amazing to me how sometimes when I listen to a song I haven't heard in a while and really listen to the lyrics I find that I probably liked that song because it was speaking to me at the time. Often I will realize what the song was saying and what I was going through at the time line up almost perfectly. In addition John Moreland is quickly becoming a new favorite of mine. If you haven't explored him yet, I highly recommend Gospel and Break My Heart Sweetly.
I am a big fan of John Moreland. His voice cuts to my soul. I'll listen to the songs you recommended right now.
This song represents the love I want to feel everyday in my marriage. The song makes me smile, makes me happy. I love imperfection in music. She don't like her eggs all runny She thinks crossin' her legs is funny She looks down her nose at money She gets it on like the Easter Bunny She's my baby, I'm her honey I'm never gonna let her go He ain't got laid in a month of Sundays Caught him once and he was sniffin' my undies He ain't too sharp but he gets things done Drinks his beer like it's oxygen He's my baby, I'm his honey I'm never gonna let him go Refrain: In spite of ourselves we'll end up a-sittin' on a rainbow Against all odds, honey we're the big door-prize We're gonna spite our noses right off of our faces There won't be nothin' but big ol' hearts dancin' in our eyes She thinks all my jokes are corny Convict movies make her horny She likes ketchup on her scrambled eggs Swears like a sailor when she shaves her legs She takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin' I'm never gonna let her go He's got more balls than a big brass monkey A whacked-out weirdo and a love bugged junkie Sly as a fox crazy as a loon Payday comes and he's a-howlin' at the moon He's my baby, I don't mean maybe I'm never gonna let him go Refrain x2 "In Spite of Ourselves" John Prine and Iris DeMent
Let's all keep some perspective. The world is going to throw us some curve balls, then sometimes a disaster or two, but That's the Way the World Goes Around. That's the Way That the World Goes Round by John Prine I know a guy that's got a lot to lose. He's a pretty nice fellow, but he's kind of confused. He's got muscles in his head that ain't never been used. Thinks he own half of this town. Started drinking heavy, gets a big red nose. Beats his old lady with a rubber hose, Then he takes her out to dinner and buys her new clothes. That's the way that the world goes 'round. Refrain That's the way that the world goes 'round. You're up one day and the next you're down. It's half an inch of water and you think you're gonna drown. That's the way that the world goes 'round. I was sitting in the bathtub counting my toes, When the radiator broke, water all froze. I got stuck in the ice without my clothes, Naked as the eyes of a clown. I was crying ice cubes hoping I'd croak, When the sun come through the window, the ice all broke. I stood up and laughed thought it was a joke That's the way that the world goes 'round. Refrain
This is how I felt early in my porn addiction and anxiety problems. My problems were the fault of others. It is so hard to turn the spotlight onto oneself. If I were You by Chris Knight If I were you then I would gladly loan to me a dollar or two So I could eat, yeah and maybe get just one good night of sleep But I'm not And I'm stranded like a cast away in this town And you seem so unwilling to help a fellow when he's down If I were you That's what I would do If I were you I wouldn't be out on these streets the whole night through Yeah I'd have a job and a pretty wife that I could come home to But I don't And I have twenty cents left to my name and your the only one left here that I have to blame If I were you That's what I'd do But sir its not my way To take from you The things I haven't earned Wish I could go back and heed The Lessons I have learned But I Cant So you gladly put your money In this sack Yes sir this thing is loaded And I have to hammer back If I were you That's what I'd do If I were you That's what I'd do