A girl on 9chat gave me her number and we ended up sexting, I was excited, and I realised as she sent me nudes (that wasnt probably her) that i'm viewing porn. I ended up sending her nude images, and now i'm thinking, why the on all the fucks on earth did I do it? It's seriously not fucking worth it, its fucking important to retain your seed guys. I'm learning how to assert myself slowly, daily showing people my true intentions. One MO ruined 11 days worth of progress, its ridiculous. Up until this moment i was feeling quite content. My friends seem very content with thier flaws and I'm here tryin to be perfect, sometimes I wonder if this self development is worth it and I should just accept who I am first.
The best thing about a mistake is taking a step back and looking at it with such a clear head. That is what the 11 days have done for you. They brought clarity. We all make mistakes but learning from them is what's important!
Why would a girl sent nudes of someone else? You sure it's a girl and not just a man trying to scam you? That if you would continue having contact, 'she' is asking money or something like that?
Here's a quote from 'Practice of Brahmacharya' by Swami Sivananda. "It (retained semen) augments memory, will-force and brain-power. It bestows tremendous strength, vigour and vitality. It renovates the system or constitution, rebuilds the cells and tissues, energises digestion and gives power to face the difficulties in the daily battle of life. The special virtues of endurance and bravery are intimately connected with the cultivation of chastity."
Treat yourself gently my friend. Don't minimize that 11 days of progress. You made it 11 days! Just use it as ammunition and a goal to beat on your next streak. Relapse is a FACT in recovery. It's going to happen and we need to work to minimize the damage a relapse causes. Beating yourself up solves nothing. Ultimately you just end up feeling worse and it reinforces your desire to PMO for a release. Do your best to learn from this and try to avoid your triggers. If chatting on the web is a problem for you, do your best to stay away from it. For many of us, just being on the computer can be a trigger. Talking to women may not be the problem. I've found, and other 'Nauts have told me, that talking with women face-to-face while for many of us is uncomfortable and awkward is less likely to trigger a relapse. I know that while I'm not a work I do my best to reduce my amount of screen time as much as possible. I leave my mobile phone in the other room and stay off the laptop unless I'm doing work. I do keep my tablet around but I use that as my reading platform and I generally don't have it connected to the internet. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back on the path. You can do this!!
Two steps forward and one stepp back, Yes you took a step. Ack but only after taking several steps forward. Keep up the progress.
