4 weeks into nofap, I'm experiencing more and more that the fatigue and self-hatred I would feel after PM, I'm also feeling when I spend time on my phone or my computer surfing randomly - like checking Facebook, checking news sites, googling a movie I've seen to see what other people thought of it, whatever, stuff I don't really need but do to distract myself. The feeling I get is similar, but it's much more subtle, so I didn't feel it so much when I was still regularly doing PM. It's like I'm getting off the hard drugs, only to realise my underlying addiction to the soft stuff. Does anybody recognise this? So now I'm thinking, when I've finished my 90 Days No PM Challenge, I wanna do a 90 Days No Useless Internet. Is this a route that other people have followed before me? How did you experience it?
Seems like the natural route to me. I also feel like my mind is being "sucked in" by my smartlhone whenever I'm doing stuff on it. I bought a dumbphone with a new sim card. Starting today I've critically reduced my phone use. I left my smartphone at home. It felt so liberating. I will keeo doing this. The next step is to give up watch TV shows.
This really resonates with me, I think you have described my feelings towards this pretty good! Let me know when you post other stuff about this or start to tackle this problem, i would be interested
i'm telling you from experience, man. Unless we are actively making our day better each day, by doing productive/useful stuff....like being effective at work or accomplishing a valuable task, we are just fucking our time with doing some useless shit, like watching movies and playing games n stuff. Break addictive patterns, are you a lazy person? Start doing shit...start small. Make progress, feel the Joy of accomplishment.
I can relate, and that 90 Days No Useless Internet Challenge sounds very interesting. I spend too much time doing that, especially on youtube. It's not that I'm watching completely useless content, but I'm usually doing it when I should be working on something else.
Hey bro, I literally opened NoFap just now to post a very similar post and found your thread. I understand your problem 100%. Exactly the same is happening to me. I'm avoiding PMO successfully but at the same time I'm wasting my time on YouTube or Facebook etc. It's a nightmare and I'm not happy about it. It feels as a slightly less extreme version of PMO in my opinion. I tried fighting this but I always somehow end up with my smartphone in my hands...
I’m happy that so many people relate. I really do think that for me and many other people, what draws us to mindlessly be on our phone or the internet, is the same as what draws us to PM. It’s less harmfull and perhaps less addictive - for me at least - but still the same poison. I’m gonna set up a challenge one of these days, maybe start with 7 days, then building up from there.
It is a form of addiction. It drives me mad, in a way. I find this as an excuse for not doing things - I think even if I just sat and meditated it would be more useful than wasting time online. Like literally doing nothing would be better. It's especially bad when I know that I should be doing different things but I choose to waste time instead. Well, at least it's not PMO. I'm happy to reach day 17 today
Great thread, I'm going through the same shit...It's like I always need to find a substitute to fill my emptiness and escaping from reality. Once you stop PMO for a few weeks/months you start to see the big picture and how your brain is wired to get instant gratification by any means. It can be social media, drugs, video games, youtube, basically all kinds of distractions. Compulsive behaviours maintain us in a state of lethargy. I think that all this is the result of an original trauma, some things that we can't (or we don't want to) overcome in our life because it implies a radical change which our actual ego might not survive, then the ego is basically doing everything to keep us away from getting deeper in reflection to find out how to fix our issues.
That last part about the ego trying to stop us from changing is fascinating, @Mithras. I’m gonna think about that. I already have an idea for a week long challenge / experiment, I’ll try and post that soon
My suggestion : find something to do that is an actual challenge, part-time work, doing something about an issue (not yours) that you know about, spend time helping someone else or even do something significant about your hobbies like organize gatherings, teach other people, create something useful for the community, ecc. Then you'll feel proud at having accomplished something and you will be able to enjoy more whatever you like to do because it will feel an earned reward and not a way to avoid reality.
Don't wait until you're finished with NoFap. Start now. I was in the exact same boat as you. When I quit porn, all I did was play video games. When I quit video games, all I did was browse the internet. It's called nosurf. www.reddit.com/r/nosurf/ - start now. I'm at the end of day 6 at time of writing. I also don't listen to music or watch tv. Read the last few entries in my journal if you want to see what it's like. The improvements will be huge. Your time management skills will increase. Don't just stop with porn - improve every aspect of your life.
You’re absolutely right. I already know I wanna start a Nosurf type of challenge, just haven’t found the time to really narrow it down and define the rules and such, but yes. I’m thinking about it a lot now. I wish I could go offline completely, but my work involves being online the whole day and also otherwise I find internet is so connected with life now, I don’t think shutting off completely is workable. But I do want to ban non-useful surfing. I’ll read your journal and start a serious attempt one of these days.
I've blocked a lots of things on my phone. Probably only have whatsapp, snapchat so I can chat with one friend of mine, ummm what else. Oh yeah, I can call and write messages, that's really it. Well, maybe google things, but internet browsers are all blocked and youtube is also unvailable. Let's say I'd like to live how they lived 20 years ago, but doesn't seem quite possible now. I feel like I'd form a garage band and just spend whole day there, at my job and at the gym. That's really it, and oh yeah, listening to music. But since that's not really possible (well I go to gym and listen to music), all I do now is just watch some reactions to favorite bands, spend time on PC where I watch YT and other crap. I'm not really feeling like living. Gosh idk how to break this crap.
Whenever I spend my entire day on YouTube, at night I feel angry and depressed for wasting my day. Don't you feel the same way?
This is super true, I hadn't realized until now. Literally if I do nothing, I feel like it's more productive.
Just keep going with the PMO avoidance then start working on FB , you tube etc. As long as these aren't pornographic or mildly soft porn your doing great. One step at a time I would say, PM first.
Alright, I've set a challenge: https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/pass-the-mic-mindful-internet-challenge.260699/ Who wants to join?