So guys it's my 235th day of Nofap. But.... For the past one week I was going through extreme disappointment, sadness, averseness and lethargic mindset. My friends were at Thailand and getting massages thrice a day, sending me pics and stuff. Similarly my present condition of being stagnant in life and career had left me with indecisiveness in my daily routine. The past week I felt like iam failed in the other aspects of life, I have nothing to do, I can't do it (though not suicidal). The depression due to not getting results in other aspects was getting toll on me. In this state of mind where I didn't even know who I was... So on day 233 I opened Porn and masturbated... Yes you heard it right. I masturbated without any emotion, I just did it like I was a lifeless machine, just devoid of any thought about my goals, life and every other stuff that I promised to myself, and slept.... On Day 234, trust me I had No Guilt of what I did. On Day 235 (today) , my Mind said " Let's watch porn" And I clearly said "NO" This is where I think I have success. When I said no I didn't have to convince myself that it's just not worth it. I was resolute and firm in saying "NO". Today i'am feeling better because the feeling of being loser is declining. I have gained some positivity today and working towards again gaining consciousness. So guys I have understood that for me Nofap is not about porn and M. It is about decision that it's just not worth it. After M on day 233, I don't even remember that I did it, and I don't care that I did it because I was not in my proper senses. It turned out to be a blessing in disguise as it gave me a sudden punch, a head start to my brain that you may have failed in other aspects of life, but have conquered one of the most extreme addiction in which 99% fail. So to conclude I don't know what I did and why I did that in day 233, but I do know that I have moved on from this addiction. I may have lost a Battle bit I have definitely won the War
I think there is nothing wrong in this, I would not say even you have post battle. You have already won as you have counted till 233. Be gentle on yourself.. . Best luck bro. I have failed many times , I have not even covered full 30 days also( sad) Kindly share frankly, how does it feel to overcome pmoing say for 90 days and above
Bro 90 days is a myth. As long as you are resolute that you won't M there will be no gain. This resolution can come in 10-12 days too. So 90 days and 180 days are just milestones here, but your milestone should be total resolution irrespective of time. That's how I have reached more than 200 days. It's binary, either you do it or you don't.
wow interesting read, man. Were you pursuing your goals in your streak? If so, why did you feel the way you did? Do you feel you have completed a reboot? Please explain! Thanks!
Yes I had a lot of goals in this streak. As I told you in the end the results matter, irrespective of how hard you try. See when you don't get results you are demotivated and want something out of nothing. That's where the loser mindset comes in. So this loser mindset was the real culprit. About reboot- see bro we are in our early 20's. We have a extreme power inside us, called the sexual power, but what happens when we suppress it? It fights back. See being a Monk at this age is laughable. You just can't abstain from sex due because your hormones at this age are too powerful. Nofap is not against sex or love, it is against the artificial, virtual mode- Porn. Porn is so amazing due to extremely sexy girls, fantastic situation we all dream of. But it is elusive. That's where nofap comes in. Nofap is saving is from false hopes and virtual pleasure, and in return it is helping us in realising our goals, because time is limited. Now my advise would be not to suppress your sexual power at this age otherwise it will ruin your mindset. Stay away from every virtual stuff. I would also recommend to go for a real girl, love someone, give shape and way to your sexual power and libido in a natural way. Nofap is not against the natural ways of love and sex. In short-- don't be a monk and use this energy.
Fantastic story I've got a big problem with Masturbation, I abstained from it for 2 weeks, but on my third week I started doing it again, and did it non stop each day for about 11 consecutive days, I'm really dissapointed and stressed with not achieving even 30 days without Mastubation. What can I do. I don not watch porn currently but past memories of porn are haunting me.
See guys, memories of porn still haunt me even after 235 days. This is because we remember our most amazing memories and sometimes in a particular porn movie we really like the girl or position or the act. This is called a fantasy. Don't worry about it it is natural. But, try to take it this way that iam not gonna make new memories. For example in porn everyday a better and sexier girl comes in different dresses, positions act ect. Now this is where the addiction lies. The addiction is not of the sex but of the girl. The first step is that You have to restrict the memories that is not seeing new girls in porn. Second, take nofap as binary, yes or no. When these memories come say no. Our mind throws these memories to create confusion that we should M. Porn is really amazing and easy but trust me it can be beaten just with a little bit of will power
