Yes dude, I think when one is too much confined in himself, it gets harder to see the whole picture. You know a back step can enable us to see what really happens inside. As @You_ll_succed_for_sure said above that to make radical changes I need to change the view on the issue. Maybe I have to see it with different manner, you know. And today, I am gonna wage a war on pornography, because I believe that the first step is this. You cannot know what really PMO does to you untill you really quit. While doing this, I will try to understand myself, and changes the my strict behaviours towards myself. I am gonna start a new streak and share it on my thread. Thank you all for your supports.
Our activities are not random, they are very consistent. They "live" with us. They take up time. Think of sleep for example, it take lets say 7 hours of your time every day. Brushing teeth takes 10 minuets every day, commute takes 60minutes, working take 8 hours etc. People think they choose what they do but that is not really the case, can you stop sleeping, working, eating, commuting, brushing your teeth? Technically you can but realistically - no. Just those activities account for 75-80% of your time in any given day. So what takes up remaining time you have? That time you consider - free-time? Again, you may think you have control over what you do there as well, but rest of your time is as static as anything else. You theoretically can change what you do, but realistically - no. I look at people and see rigid structured monotony, in every aspect of their life. I am no exception, as progressive and aware as I try my best to be. People think they choose what they will do at any given time, and they feel that the urge to do something is random, but for the most part it is part of their schedule. This very schedule, also shapes them, makes them feel safe, and therefor activities it includes get more time. You have lifestyle - set of activities that consume your time daily. That list is rather small if you sit down and make it. Person who is depressed, does not have time dedicated to going out with friends, visiting family, or going out for an adventure, priorities are different. His/her schedule is full of watching tv, playing games, surfing the internet and maybe some porn. What makes it in to your schedule is defined by its importance to you, eating is important - so you eat. Working out - not as important so you do not work out. What then defines what is important to you? It is definitely not something rational, it cant be - you know working out is good for you, but that does not seem to push people to work out. People know smoking is bad for them, but that does not make them stop. People know watching porn for hours is not healthy - but they do not stop. Everyone says they want to work out and be in good shape, every smoker as long as he is rational, will say he wants to stop smoking, people that watch porn for hours say they want to stop as well. But do they? We know we should not judge others without knowing why they did what they did, and yet we judge others instantly and often not even think about it later. Knowing what is good and what is bad has nothing to do with what you actually do. People know it is bad to steal - but they steal. My point is that it is just as hard to start consistently working out every other day as it is to consistently stop watching pornography. It does not mean laziness is an addiction, it means our actual actions are not formed as a result of rational thinking, they are formed by our perception. This means rational conclusions carry no value and only deep changes in out values change our actions. We assume we are rational in our actions, but we are not. Your craving for another burger an hour after lunch is not rational, it is a learned behavior, created by your life style. You can sit there salivating, saying to yourself "I cant think of anything else but another burger!", horrible addictive burgers! I have burger addiction! Nope Our actions are driven by emotion, not reason. Modern advertising exploits this by showing how you can feel when you have this product without giving any information about it. Its just cool - buy it. They show image of attractive interesting, person walking surrounded by group of friends, laughing and having fun, you want to feel the same, and its unclear what the add is for, then they zoom in on the bottle - "CocaCola" Then you may wonder why you want to drink one when you feel lonely or anxious, but most likely you will never ask why - you will just drink it, and think you made that choice. So now the real question, why do you think it is so hard to consistently workout every other day? And along side this - you can ask why is it so difficult to stop watching pornography? You can respond to the second by - saying I am addicted to porn, but then you have to say you are addicted to not working out or addicted to laziness. Perhaps you are. But then laziness is lack of motivation, why not use it to explain both? This brings us back to depression and low self esteem - both define lack of motivation. So people can think rationally, but rational does not make them act. Action is forced by motivation and motivation comes from emotions. Your emotional state defines what you can do. Depressed and miserable - Poorly motivated Happy and exited - Highly motivated You come up to an unemployed person and offer him a job and he says - meh, no thank you, I am still on unemployment for another 4 months. This guy has nothing to live for, I do not need to ask any more questions to know that. Do you think he can stop using pornography?
If you're depressed, quitting porn is a good place to start my brother. Powerful for mental health. I've hit rock bottom too, that's what made me decide to change my habits. The effects are cumulative, so don't worry too much about the big picture, because it can be intimidating. Take every day one day at a time, because that's all you can do. Perhaps you are depressed because you are missing something in your life. If you can find out what that is, you can start chasing it.
[QUOTE = "Tal como soy, publicación: 2290075, miembro: 236184"] Hola a todos, Ni siquiera sé cómo superar mis impulsos repetidos, el día antes de que prometiera no volver a hacer PMO, pero me parece realmente difícil. Bueno, puedes verme aconsejando a otros que sean fieles, fuertes y se mantengan en su camino, etc. Pero todo parece confianza superficial, tengo un problema más grande en mi interior que no me da forma de poder ver la imagen completa. Me siento debilitado sin PMO y siento un fuerte impulso de atracones, pero después de dedicarme a esos videos sin sentido durante horas, tengo una fisicosis profunda que ni siquiera puedo pensar con claridad qué hacer a continuación. Como me acabo de graduar de la universidad, estoy en casa todo el día y toda la noche, así que creo que voy a mantener esto hasta encontrar un trabajo, pero no estoy determinado en absoluto. Parece que he perdido toda mi emergencia para alcanzar mis objetivos. No sientas nada para avanzar. Netiher nada me está alimentando ni me estoy esforzando por ello. Solo pegado a la nada. Siéntete nihilista. En el momento en que llega mi esperanza se eleva a un nivel en el que nada puede restringir mi poder, llega el momento en que me siento devastada por todo. Estoy obsesivamente pensando todo a mi alrededor durante horas sin ningún signo de movimiento de mi cuerpo, parece que estoy sentado en el sofá, sí físicamente bien, pero mi alma me deja pensando durante horas. Y este estado mental no es una duda para perseguirme en cada momento probable de mi día. ¿Sabes lo que te estoy diciendo? Si probablemente. Y no me dejen solo chicos. Necesito ayuda aquí. Desesperadamente[/CITAR] Hola.... Quiero ayudarte ....yo estoy en la misma....pero hay algo en q se puedo hacer x ti... Primero ... Quiero saber .... q haces durante, tu dia .... A que hora te, levantas A que hora te, acuestas Si tienes la, posibilidades de comunicarte aqui ... quiero decirte .... sabes estos, problemas siento q, la, unica manera de superarlos es encontranalguien que te de la,mano no importando no juzgando,quien eres y xq lo haces.... ... Si cuento contigo para ayudarnos a cambiar .... solo responde ... Quiero cambiar
Thank you brother. I have made a great attempt to do itm can you believe that I overcame strong urges even if it is nighttime. Yes, I have done it.
It goes a lil bit mild, in the daytime I am really keeping myself accountable but night time appears as a huge problem when you do not have a regular sleep program.
Yessir, I have the same problem. The nights where I feel urges, I have to remind myself that not relapsing is more important in my life right now than getting a good night's sleep. It's easier said than done man, and I struggle with it myself. It's a huge sacrifice we have to make. I'm with you bro, I get it. It's a reasonable price to pay though, for success. To have to give up sleep to achieve your goals is very real, and very hard. Keep going bro, you got this. We'll be better men for having done this
Hey man, sorry for the late answer, I do not understand spanish,.but I translated it. Yes, sure. I want to be friends with you.
