Please Help Me

Hi again,
Sorry to post again after the one from yesterday afternoon on the same exact topic, but I truly need your help so I can decide if I should reset my day counter. Please just give me a minute of your time
Basically, as I explained in my last post (go to that for full details), I innocently stumbled across thumbnails of pictures that I had thought I had deleted a while back. They weren't hardcore or anything (no nudity but definitely not something I should be looking at while rebooting). Anyways, I didn't look at them at all more than I had to simply from the surprise and just moved them to the Trash and got rid of them for good. A little while later, I looked to see if there were any more that I hadn't deleted, and found just one picture of the same nature. This time I felt guilty because I didn't just stumble across them, but searched for them, even if I was just going to delete them the second I did find them. Again, I certainly wouldn't consider the thumbnail-sized pictures that I saw to be porn, but I also am not happy that I did see them. While I do feel guilty about what happened, I also know that if I was truly looking to relapse today, I would've with no question. But I wasn't. So the question remains - do I reset or keep my two-week streak?

 

The first time it happened I acted very quickly and, honestly, didn't feel bad about what I did at all. Again, I had wished I hadn't seen it, but I didn't feel guilty about it because I knew I couldn't control seeing it. The second time, though, I feel like I was in a more dangerous situation, as I knew there was the potential that I could be finding something else that I shouldn't see. This is where I'm not sure if it should be a reset - was I looking for trouble looking to find more? I honestly am not sure, and that's what makes me feel uneasy about keeping this 14-day streak. To answer your question, no, I did not open up the picture to full-size or stop to look at it, but rather just identified the thumbnail as something I needed to get rid of, and got rid of it. However, I do think the fact that it is bothering me so much may be a good indication that I should reset, as much as I hate to lose a two-week streak. It would just stink if that were the case when I really never saw P (or anything like it). To me, I feel like it's a small bump in the road and certainly should not happen again, but I can say that I personally don't think I should have to reset. In the past, whenever I had seen something close to P, I wouldn't be able to control my urges and go straight to a full relapse. Sure, I feel crappy about what I did yesterday, but no, I didn't stop to "take a look" before I deleted the pictures, and it did not cause me to go any further. Is keeping my streak justified?

 

Great! Thanks, buddy

 

That's very interesting. I wasn't sure what to make of this but I've already basically forgotten about it in a day so I definitely think I agree with you (It's not like I'm thinking about it or anything). Thanks for the feedback!