I relapsed after 54 days

Start again, you shall succeed one day, don't lose hope, there is hope everywhere

 

Pick yourself back up and start again. Think about all that you gained in your journey. Refocus.

 

54 days is a great streak. Now, it's time to analyze what triggered you and how you can overcome the urge next time. Keep us updated on your next run

 

Slips and relapses are part of the recovery process. No need to feel down or be ashamed of it. I yet have to meet a single person who got rid of addiction without them. Try to think about it as a valuable lesson. Analyze what triggered relapse, learn from it and move on.

It might help you to have emergency plan in case of slip/relapse in advance. Here is how mine looks like:

Plan in case of a slip

It's better to hope for the best and be prepared for the worst than to relapse into multi month long binge like I had last summer, just because I had no emergency plan in place.

I like to keep my plan simple. All my relapses have happened in front of my computer so I have only 2 rules:

1) A) If I open porn related website -> B) I immediately unplug PC power cord (and stay away from the PC for the rest of the day)

I have always prepacked backpack in the case of lapse happening:

2) B) In the case of lapse (=one time MO or PMO) -> C) I immediately take my backpack and go for a 2-3 days hike to prevent lapse becoming full blown relapse

I didn't need to use second rule yet since I implemented this emergency plan, but I decided that if lapse happens and I implement second rule by the book, I don't have to reset counter if there isn't another lapse following inside the next 3 months period. I came to this conclusion after reading this article how to avoid shame and guilt cycle from ruining progress you've made -> https://www.smartrecovery.org/stopping-a-slip-from-becoming-a-relapse/

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"So does this mean that even a brief lapse must lead to a full-blown relapse? Does it mean a person must continue to drink or drug until the use returns to the initial level? Is spiraling out of control inevitable? Simply put, no. A lapse need not become a relapse. After a slip, you have not unlearned all that you have learned. You have not unchanged all that you have changed in your life to support your recovery. You do not have to start counting again from day one.

If you view your lapse as a mistake and as a product of external triggers, rather than as a personal failure, research shows that you will have a much better chance of return to abstinence quickly. Your lapse becomes a tool to move forward and to strengthen your motivation to change, your identification of triggers and urge-controlling techniques, your rational coping skills, and the lifestyle changes needed to lead a more balanced life."

 

You may have failed the day counter, but think about how far you've come. Don't be like me and spend a whole month relapsing. Pick yourself back up, you will hit 90.

 

If you handle the relapse properly it will help you succeed. A relapse is a good reality check.
Tell your addiction to drop dead. Don't let it dominate you.
Get back in the game, you can do this!