I relapsed + binged

i know how you feel but look at my counter i am on day 0 so i can tell you how bad my life as a porn addict

 

brother i dont know how to motivate you but all i can say is porn addicted life is not something anyone dream of. i cry literally after masturbate because of guilty feeling i have it took away most happiness in my life and made a worse human being . now i am nothing but a depressed and lonely guy please dont give up please fight for us we always watching you no matter whereever you are. We are here to help each other.please fight dont give up

 

Here are the rules I established for myself around slips/relapses. You have to be prepared for occasions that have high probability of occurrence. Slips and relapses, especially in early days of recovery, have very high probability of happening, so you better have a plan how to react when they happen. Alder once said: "Part of recovery is relapse. I dust myself off and move forward again." Here's my own emergency plan, when shit hits the fan:​

My plan in case of a slip

Hope for the best but expect the worst. Relapses always led me to multi month long binges like I had last summer, just because I had no emergency plan in place. This time I plan ahead of things:

I like to keep my plan simple. All my relapses have happened in front of my computer so I have only 2 rules:

1) A) If I open porn related website -> B) I immediately unplug PC power cord (and stay away from the PC for the rest of the day)

I have always prepacked backpack in the case of lapse happening:

2) B) In the case of lapse (=one time MO or PMO) -> C) I immediately take my backpack and go for a 2-3 days hike to prevent lapse becoming full blown relapse

I didn't have to use the second rule yet, but I've decided that if a lapse happens and I implement the 2nd rule, I don't have to reset counter if there isn't another lapse following inside the next 3 months period. It's like being on probation. I came to this conclusion after reading article on how to avoid shame and guilt cycle from ruining progress you've made -> https://www.smartrecovery.org/stopping-a-slip-from-becoming-a-relapse/

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"So does this mean that even a brief lapse must lead to a full-blown relapse? Does it mean a person must continue to drink or drug until the use returns to the initial level? Is spiraling out of control inevitable? Simply put, no. A lapse need not become a relapse. After a slip, you have not unlearned all that you have learned. You have not unchanged all that you have changed in your life to support your recovery. You do not have to start counting again from day one.

If you view your lapse as a mistake and as a product of external triggers, rather than as a personal failure, research shows that you will have a much better chance of return to abstinence quickly. Your lapse becomes a tool to move forward and to strengthen your motivation to change, your identification of triggers and urge-controlling techniques, your rational coping skills, and the lifestyle changes needed to lead a more balanced life."

 

As long as you keep going progress isnt lost. It might help to reduce gradually if you feel like youre stuck. If you reset/relapse just get the O over with dont scroll dont watch multiple videos pick one watch it get off as fast as possible move on. This will prevent flooding of dopamine jn your brain if you chose to watch multiple videos. Maybe try reducing frequency in intervals then go from there. Once you get past week 1 you start gaining the confidence to keep going

 

That itch to binge gets weaker. Its caused by the accumulation of transcription factor delta fos B. The more you resist the weaker it gets. The more you binge the stringer it gets. Its a vicious cycle