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Not truly healed or just inexperienced?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Fondelli, Jul 30, 2019.

  1. Jul 30, 2019 #1
    Fondelli

    Fondelli Fapstronaut

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    Hi everyone,
    I will try to summarize my story.
    I'm 25 years old and I lost my verginity last year, and it was quite a disaster, I had no boner for major part of the time and I didn't reach the orgasm. Before that, I had very few experience with girls and I've struggled with porn and to quit it for many years. Since March I've decided to definitely quit porn and I had my longest streak of NoFap, 71 days, then I relapsed few times, about once every 15/20 days, but never with porn, I've done with it.
    Meanwhile I date three girls, and the story was pretty the same, the only difference is that I reached the orgasm but only with bj, but still I felt I was not fully erected, about 80%, and during all I wasn't feeling completely aroused by the situation, so I think I'm still struggling with pied.
    What you think? It's because I still have to fully heal or maybe because I'm only still inexperienced with sex?

    I'm sorry for my bad English
     
    Fondelli, Jul 30, 2019
    Fondelli, Jul 30, 2019
    #1
  2. Jul 30, 2019 #2
    Rehab_warrior

    Rehab_warrior Fapstronaut

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    Hey Fondelli,


    I understand your struggle.

    I experienced the same in my first days of dating.

    Couldn't get it up, and no ejaculation. It was not porn anyway. It was a performance anxiety.

    And with time, it just disapeared.

    I'm thinking about your situation. Perhaps it's only a performance anxiety and will disapear with time ?

    I don't think it's because you are inexperienced.

    I think it's because the first time you had sex, it was supposed to be GREAT (at least that what society tells you...) and it was in fact LAME.

    You put a false belief in your head that you can't please a woman in bed... Which is wrong of course...

    Perharps I'll be perceived as arrogant, or full of pride, but my understanding of women is that they are way more emotional than us. And with proper time, presence and feeling of intimacy (you share your privates parts for christ's sake ;)), you will please her.

    Let go of this fear. It's not useful...

    Like would say a mentor for me : "just go with the flow".

    I'm not sure I answered at your post thought, but I hope what I wrote will help you ;)

    For passion, the warrior


    Stay brave bro
     
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2019
    Rehab_warrior, Jul 30, 2019
    Rehab_warrior, Jul 30, 2019
    #2
  3. Jul 30, 2019 #3
    Fondelli

    Fondelli Fapstronaut

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    Thank very much bro, you gave me more hope, I truly appreciated it
     
    Fondelli, Jul 30, 2019
    Fondelli, Jul 30, 2019
    #3

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