Is this a solution? Needs advice

Depends onr the dating sites...I know that some dating sites have led me back to PMO on a constant basis...Personally I still believe the best way to meet people is offline, because women are everywhere. You will meet some women on dating sites, but they may not be the right ones for you.

 

I reckon you are just looking for a new thrill, a new distraction.
Your brain is not getting the stimulus of porn so it is leading you to places where it will get another type of stimulus.
My recommendation is to shut it down and don't go there. Become at peace with yourself and then see how you feel.

 

The same way you shut down fapping. Just don't do it. Take yourself off the dating site. This brief period of your life is actually all about you, it is about creating a new reality where you do not need external stimulus to be complete.
You do not want to disrupt your family, you do not need the drama.
I reckon that as we recover from a PMO addiction we should be suspicious of all strong urges.
The addiction is like a little parasite in our head that we are killing off as we no longer feed it. As it withers from not being fed it will make us want to do things that are in its interest but not in our own.
So give yourself another month to become more whole, more yourself. The dating sites are not going to go away.
I reckon in another month you might see things differently.

 

Don't believe everything you think.

You're trying to solve a problem that's inside your head using your thoughts inside your head to solution the problem.

Perhaps your relationship is not the right one for you, I don't know. But I do know that putting the solution on another person is not. Beware of any absolute thoughts that tell you "if only X were different, I'd be ok". Yes, you may need to make changes in your life and your situation but expecting a single change to be "the answer" is addictive thinking.

Peace,
-Quinn

 

What was risky about the dating journeys? Elaborate.

 

I see...and how would you lose your loving family? Did your parents and close family had trouble with one your ex girlfriends that you met on a dating site?

 

Well definitely dating while married is not a good idea.

 

I was glad when you first posted. Two days before you posted I had joined a dating site and was starting message women. I am happily married.
After reading your post and formulating my reply I unsubscribed and deleted the dating app.
I reckon there are two things leading you down the path you are wanting to avoid.

Firstly, As men we receive very little praise or positive reinforcement.
Our partners constantly hear from us and their friends that they look attractive, that their clothes are nice, they smell good, they are a good parent, their hair looks good etc.
We get very little or none of that but we are certainly informed if we are slipping.
Reaching out to women other than our partner is one way of getting positive feed back, of knowing that we are attractive to the opposite sex.

Secondly, and probably more relevant. It's all about what we have trained our brain to expect.
Once we stop PMO we are suddenly and drastically changing our mental reward system. When we no longer get the regular orgasm reward or when we are no longer edging for hours on end, all the neural reward pathways we forged by our repetitive actions start unravelling. Our brain then starts looking at older practices. We start looking for other ways that we used to thrill ourselves and there are few things more thrilling than the first time we touch new woman and the subconscious knowledge that we will pass on our seed.

I guess ultimately it is all up to you. It is your life, maybe screwing around all your life is your pathway to happiness and contentment. Maybe your sons do not need a stable role model. Maybe you don't love your wife. I don't know.
What I would suggest though is just be kind to yourself. Give yourself a break from stress and drama. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin.
Read this article https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/can-you-trust-your-johnson/

 

Dude you want a solution? Give 3 people on the street a compliment today. After that you can join a dating website.

 

Consider that you go through with it, and it doesn't work out, and you do it again, and that relationship also doesn't work out.. But the urge persists. That would certainly not be final.

And how likely do you think that would be if it was to play out?