Didn't view what I considered porn but looked at pictures of naked women. I'm resetting and broadening my definition of porn.
The 9th I had a tough battle yesternight. Though I have been observing my urges for the past 3 days without intervening and letting them die, my addicted brain brought its nuclear arsenal. I had to take evasive measures as the urges refused to die down for more than an hour. I sat there with my laptop ready to type the URL of a porn site. I stared at my laptop for what seemed like 5 minutes with my heart pounding so hard. I started feeling disgusted with my self yet I had not even started viewing porn. It is at this moment I asked myself, 'if I watch porn and then what?' Well, I travelled some 2 hours into the future and saw myself cumming and feeling like shit soon afterwards. I then foresaw the time and it would probably be 12:30 am onwards. I then projected myself some 8 hours into the future waking up with all the shame and guilt and the reality of destroying my progress. The exercise of projecting myself into the future helped me to meditate on the consequences and stopped me in my tracks. I don't know exactly what has been happening but my urges are getting stronger by the day and I have to power through somehow. Day 4 Cold Shower Day 4 Exercise: Today is a rest day. Stretching Exercises only Day 3 Meditation: 10 minutes of 6 Phase Meditation Day 1 Reading: The Now Habit