Hi, so i've been struggling to quit porn for almost 6 years, and my 26th birthday is right around the corner (july 25th) and i think that there wouldn't be a better birthday gift for myself than reaching 40 days of no PMO. I believe that my biggest mistake has been relying too much (sometimes even fully) on willpower. Thinking retrospectively on my best streaks, they all share something in common: the non-reliance in willpower (i.e.: not allowing myself to be on my laptop while alone at home). But thing is, i've started learning how to code by myself (that will be my only income), so the laptop is a must, at least for a couple of hours. There's always someone at home until like early afternoon, so i could do all my studying and web browsing until then... but then how could i spend the rest of the day without staring at the ceilng? I'm broke, and only place i have to hang out is the gym, and it's not that big of a city. I could read for a couple of hours, sure, but then afterwards i'd be mentally exhausted. So based on my conditions and your personal experiences, i'd love to hear you guys opinions about whether i should cut off the laptop access while i'm alone (and if so, what would you recommend me do to fill the time) or still allow myself to use the laptop throught the whole day, but always with a task in mind (no aimless browsing)...
The willpower is the final defence but another strategy is to focus on reducing the urges you have in the first place. The only way I know how to do this (100% certain method) is by staying hungry (I.e. eating a lot less or fasting). Your urges are driven by the food you eat so if you are eating lots of meat, junk food or overeating generally then you will experience greater urges. by eating less you will give the will power a better chance of winning the battles.
Roderick .. have you heard of the app " accountable2you"? It's an app where you assign someone you trust , and someone that will shine that mirror in your face when you're relapsing . It's an app where it doesn't block anything on your computer. You could still go on porn or anything , but as soon. As the app picks up a questionable word or website it will email or text that to your accountability partner. Your partner can sign in and see literally anything and everything you are doing on your laptop or cellphone. I have this and j highly recommend it . Also, I would highly recommend going to find a physcologist, or counselor who has experience with sex and porn addiction. As I'm sure there's a foundational feeling you're trying to run from or feel from the porn . I would also recommend googling " three circles " and make your own personal one that fits with your own recovery. Anything else please don't hesitate to msg me if you want !
Well, i've definitely noticed less urges when i abstain from sugar, but i just somewhat agree with you regarding this... sure, eating junk food and refined sugar often will increase the cravings, but i don't think it's something THAT important for overcoming this addiction. I do have a very healthy diet by the way... but i gotta disagree with you regarding the fasting stuff, i think that more often than not, fasting actually feeds compulsive eating (and this is according to some of the best dietitians in the world). But sure, eat less junk and it will sure improve your self-control a bit. Nonetheless, i appreciate you sharing your experience/advice Hey Chefb! No, never heard of this app so i'm glad that you shared this. I did seek a psychotherapist (she didn't have experience with sex/porn addictions though) not too long ago, and while it did give me some insights on the underlying issues that cause my porn addiction, i decided to stop because i felt like it wasn't helping me any further after a while. But thanks a lot for the idea, i'm already looking into a few psychologists in my town to ask if they have experience wih this sort of thing (which i highly doubt though -- not too big of a city and i live in Brazil ).
