You're right, I was thinking about this a couple hours ago. Masturbation is the thing that gives me more anxiety. Just like a dose of Heroin for a drug addict. It feels good, but shortly afterwards you are caught by a strange kind of sadness, and you tell yourself: "I'm damned, I cannot escape from reality and at the same time it's hard to resist to my temptations". The conclusion is always the same: "Quit it!". Yeah, I relapsed, if you want to know, and it felt good for such a short amount of time that, while going to the bathroom, I stopped and looked at myself seeing a destroyed man, that has just lost everything and still hasn't realised it completely. When our instict kicks in, we lose sight, we forget all of what we have learned and, from that moment on, we are incredibily fragile to everything. You lose 47 days of progress in 15 minutes. You lie to yourself and your entire body, 75 kg, 180 cm of flesh and nerves agrees on fapping. The same happens with nuclear war: everybody wants it, then, when it ends, you wish it would never had happened. I'll write this down on Microsoft Word and keep it for when I'm thinking of relapse. Thanks for getting me back on track, man. Here we go again.
Day 142. There will be many who lived through your struggles. You must choose either to fall short or to become exceptionally disciplined.
Day 2, I've been pretty sad and just thinking what's the point of doing this. I'm still doing it, why not, sigh
14/365 A lot of major transitions occurring in my life and within my family right now. Really excited to move forward into this new chapter boldly, and continue remaining devoted to being PMO free.
You're doing this because you want a better life. Meditate and reassess your motives for removing pornography from your life, write it down on paper, and look at it every day of your journey. Knowing "why" you're pursuing a goal is essential to achieving it.
Today was a big day for me. Completed a month of nofap. I am only abstaining from fapping over visual content(like porn). Though I masturbated only thrice this month(by visualising that I am having sex with my gf). As of now, I am finding myself preoccupied with other tasks in my life and really enjoying my life.
60 days. Kind of dealing with some stressful stuff right now, which makes this harder, since I sometimes just want to say "F' it" and escape into a short-term thrill. But, I've just been keeping in mind how frustrated and empty I'd feel inside afterwords, so I realize how it's just not worth it. Plus last time I edged so bad I somewhat injured myself, which is extra motivation not to go on some five-hour self-destructive binge. So, today is another day I'm choosing healing, self-empowerment, and progress instead.