So the month of May was probably the best week I've had in I don't know how long. I was confident and sociable and I was experiencing life as it should be experienced. But over the last couple of weeks I've entered into the worst flatline I think I've ever had. Everything from extreme anxiety to incessant sexual dreams have haunted me over this period. Today has been difficult as I'm going through some depressive symptoms, and it feels like I can't even think straight. I've been having urges lately, and I've slightly subjected myself to some sexual thoughts that have mustered up some urges to relapse. I don't intend on relapsing, I really just need some words of encouragement in this difficult time. I feel like I've sort of set myself back with the brief fantasies I've had lately, and that thought is what my mind is using as fuel to try to drive me to relapse
You are doing great. 72 days is phenomenal. As you know by now, it is the little things that gets into our minds that can set us back so much. Those little things cannot be allowed. I finally learned that P-subs are as bad for me as P, so I am eliminating them from my life. Every little thought that is unhelpful must be eradicated the moment it enters your mind. This sort of mindfulness does take practice to get right, but after only a short time of consistent work, this can become the new habit. Freeze the thought, find the lie, replace it with the truth, and then live in the truth. That is the way forward. Wishing you the best!
Whenever I have a thought, it never lingers for too long. I'm doing my best at gradually lessening the intensity and frequency of such thoughts.
You may not be able to control either intensity or frequency. Only what you choose to dwell on. When you have an unhelpful thought, eradicate its lies with the truth.