She gets hurt when i relapse. She doesn't understand my disease, my "relapsing". I barely do. How can I explain to her the depths of my addiction? I hate hurting her so much I cried immediately after I orgasmed the last time. I never relapse to hurt her. I need her to understand that. Any suggestions would be a great help!
Dude. Quit. http://yourbrainonporn.com/im-going-reveal-you-1-secret-overcome-pornography-addiction If you have a disease, there is a cure. Take the cure. You have to want to quit more than you want to continue. It can be done. Good luck on your journey.
I also hurt my gf when I relapsed. Their reaction is normal and any amount of explaining that we are addicts won't make them feel better, in fact it's quite the opposite. That discussion, after I relapsed, was one of the hardest discussions of my life. You can also stop... for good. But you need to learn how. I recommend reading http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?2402-Get-educated-get-tools-and-learn-to-love-withdrawals and http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?3549-Action!-or-not!!!-Have-you-actually-Prepared-for-it.