back to square 1

I had a good roll going. Somewhere like 2 months. I crashed hard about 3 weeks ago. Now, I'm only pulling off stretches of a few days or so. People laid hands on me and prayed for me after mass last night(different reason though), and I crashed again today. It all comes down to me, I guess, and I'm not doing so well. I'd ask for prayers, but if last night didn't help then I'm the cylinder that's not firing. I'm pretty sure I'm doing well in other ways of spiritual direction, but God sees this and even he can't help me if I won't accept his help. I feel like a kid who keeps sticking a nail into a light socket repeatedly. It's like the only way I'll learn is by going somewhere there's no coming back from at which time it'll be too late. I don't know what to do any more.