Im an animal.

The detail of "why" doesn't matter. What matters is what you learnt from the relapse and what you will do differently to make sure this time is different.

 

Sounds like you are being too hard on yourself.
Accept that you are human; humans are not perfect -- and make occasional errors.
Like the guy said above, what can you Do differently next time to help you be successful ???

Are you getting SUNSHINE a few times a week for Vitamin D? Sunshine releases endorphins too!

The medication m-a-y be messing with you:
Bupropion Side Effects - Drugs.com
https://www.drugs.com/sfx/bupropion-side-effects.html

• "Commonly reported side effects of bupropion include: insomnia, nausea, pharyngitis, weight loss, constipation, dizziness, headache, and xerostomia. Other side effects include: abdominal pain, agitation, arthralgia, chest pain, migraine, skin rash, urinary frequency, anxiety, asthenia, confusion, diarrhea, hostility, hypertension, lack of concentration, myalgia, nervousness, palpitations, pruritus, tinnitus, tremor, vomiting, anorexia, diaphoresis, dysgeusia, flushing, and abnormal dreams."

Here's a Golden Idea: google "alternatives to antidepressants"

This article -- "7 Natural Alternatives To Antidepressants"
has a list of helpful ideas and recommended foods to help you be happier:
https://www.thealternativedaily.com/natural-alternatives-to-antidepressants/

This article is similar -- "The feel good factor: 20 ways to boost your endorphins"
https://www.getthegloss.com/article/the-feel-good-factor-20-ways-to-boost-your-endorphins

I'm not a doctor.
Perhaps you can transition off of bupropion?
In the morning (AM) try a cup of green tea with caffeine. It will give you a light to medium "buzz" of energy -- and positive mental alertness.

Try experimenting with various things (dosage, timing, alternatives, etc.)
The goal is to be Off of Big Pharma's (de$ired) lifelong "med bus of the masses."

Distractions & Diversions work great to help you be successful each day. And talk with any woman you think is a possible candidate.

Also, if you add an "Update Day Counter" (located at the top of the page)
that will help motivate you by seeing your daily progress.

Here's some of my normal suggestion to others and myself -- perhaps 1 or more things will be helpful?

Benefits of No PMO:

1. No social anxiety; 99% of time relaxed, calm, cool; easier to be sociable. If I do start to get nervous I think, "What do I have to be fearful about?" And I get calm in about 1-2 seconds.
2. More attention from opposite gender -- without trying
3. No brain fog; can concentrate easily. Can think clearer under pressure.
4. Increased motivation to get things done.
5. More Stamina -- can hang in their longer at work (be tough) and complete projects; can work overtime, while others can't
6. No fears; high levels of testosterone = strength and don't take bs. (No one has messed with me in 52 days +.)
7. More time for good/productive things. Not wasting time going to phony porn sites; fapping to pixels; lusting, etc.
8. Women/men increasingly become less of a priority or need.
9. Improved Confidence -- (online comment) "porn and masturbation lowers your self-esteem and confidence"
10. More Respectable -- (online comment) "if you resist the urge to masturbate -- a practice that is generally condemned -- you are likely to feel more respect for yourself; and others will respect you more." We all can quickly tell if a man or woman is fapping ... nervous ... weak … fearful … has shame [trying to hide something] …
10. Improved Creativity and Resourcefulness

*Not all days are wonderful. Somedays are so-so ...… many are common... some are difficult due to "flat line"... But who wants to go backwards -- to weakness, shame and disrespecting yourself, etc.?
Y-o-u can change! Y-o-u are 100% in control. Y-o-u call the shots!

Tips to Successfully handle Urges or Temporary Temptations:

#1 Secret = Get Off Your Heineken and Go Outside [temptations usually only last 10-20 min] 2- Go on NoFap and make a post; or "like" some posts; or give advice 3- Listen to and Dance to your favorite music (fun and gets rid of excess energy) 4- Exercise, go to gym, go for a walk 5- Go to mall and talk with women (or men for females) 6- Go to store and buy yourself a reward/gift/treat (small daily; medium weekly; large monthly) 7- Work on your favorite hobby/passion/interest 8- Call, email or go visit a friend 9- Go walk a wonderful dog "Woof!" 10 - Have a "WHATEVER IT TAKES" attitude or mindset 11- Do a good deed for someone (extra points if they don't know who did it) 12- Take a break; take a nap (remind yourself that you are 100% in control and 100% responsible for your behavior-actions) 13- All Things Are Possible 14 - Positive personal hygiene (brush teeth; shower) keeps your self-esteem high 15 - Fasting (water only) has many health benefits; a 1/2 day or more fast will help you have more self control 16 - Taking it one day at a time, one urge at a time makes your goal more manageable & successful.

A great way to have SUCCESS over urges or temptations is to make a quick LIST OF GOALS and OPTIONS. (Just make a quick list -- you can add to it later.) Then read the GOALS and OPTIONS when you are tempted. (I made a simple list the first week -- now it's a habit -- like a memory.) In a sense, you want to 'hold a knife' to the throat [carotid artery -- side of neck] of your 'feelings.' You are the boss -- you tell them what to do. If your 'feelings' disagree with your goals (No PMO, self respect, power) -- tell your 'feelings' where to go. You can call your list: STUD LIST, SPECIAL FORCES LIST, LIST OF OPTIONS, etc. (whatever works for you.)

APPLICATION = SUCCESS !!!!!!!