Sooo, I wasn't sure where this post was best suited thus why it ended up here. I have found during a time of abstinence from PMO that I have an unusual trigger. I wanted to know if anyone else deals with it and what to do about it. I have found that when I see a really hot girl in real life I am often very triggered to, afterwards go and PMO. This will even happen to me if I see a beautiful, happy couple together. I hate this because I think that meeting nice girls in real life should be healthy and deter me from those impulses. I feel like this stems from loneliness but am not sure. I don't have a girlfriend and personally practice abstinence from sexual activity until marriage for religious reasons, but I don't know if this is a factor or not. I'd appreciate some insight into this, and advice on what might be done about it.
I had something similar. When I'd see a pretty woman I'd work out a list of search terms that I'd need to use to find porn with someone similar in. I'd not do it, but the thought process is disappointing. It's better now because I'm working on not ogling and on stopping my idle erotic day dreams (the former's proving easier than the latter). I have some techniques that are working for me, I can dig out the relevant journal posts if you want
Funny you mention this, lately i've noticed the same behavior with myself. In my case it's also connected to anger/frustration. To deal with this i try to let it go. Most of the times it keeps haunting my brain untill i go PMO. But on the other side, if i'm really busy i tend to "forget" it even happend and i don't get any urges to go PMO. Being alone after a you find youself triggered is the most risk. It gives you time to think about it and in the end to give in to the urges.
It sounds like you are just seeing them and never interacting. This can leave you in a state of only seeing them as objects.
This is actually a good example of brain wiring problem, also known as conditioning. When you become aware of something pleasurable, dopamine nudges you to seek it, process of seeking it releases even more dopamine making you more and more determined(as well ask compromising your willpower and reasoning) making sure you get what you want, and when you do - you feel the high - reward for working hard to get it. You actually begin to feel good when this process starts we may not even notice it, but pleasure could be pretty intense and just happens in the background. For example you can just meet an old friend and feel intense pleasure, when you laugh - you feel pleasure, hell even when you poop you feel pleasure. It hidden but if you pay attention and you will see dopamine at work every day. Its that feeling of pleasure that gets you, when you are aroused you feel pleasure and feeling pleasure always nudges you to feel more, and usually that means taking action and doing something rewarding and difficult, however, because you have another much easier way to get more pleasure(porn) you use that, its actually logical because it gets you want you want with minimal effort, so its very efficient from result perspective. But its not what you actually want. Its this trigger that gets all addicts relapsing - they feel great and they know they know its so easy to feel even better, so easy to get even bigger high. So when these moments happen you have to do stuff that is healthy and rewarding, many people suggest cold showers or pushups. It works because its hard and rewarding, and you literally replace your desire for porn with something actually rewarding and overtime it sticks.
Here you go: Techniques to avoid ogling: here Techniques to get away from sexual fantasising: here (N.B. I have also kept a list of useful ogling threads. It's buried in my journal post here.)
