115/365. 250 days left in this challenge. After these 250 days, I will have 323 days left before I complete the 10%-challenge as well. I also have 116 days left until I am half way to that goal. Growing stronger every day. If I stop growing stronger, I will become weaker. Then no matter how many days I have put into NoFap, there will be a point in time when my guard is weaker than my urges... This shall not happen. I shall not forget where I have been. I shall not forget who I want to be. I shall not rely on prays, hope nor luck. No, the only thing I shall do is to continue fighting. And I shall do so till the very end of my life.
This video was purely beautiful. It explains exactly the way I felt when I started my NoFap journey and how I have learned to reason after then. I suggest everyone to have a look at it.
At noon today I will have reached 7 days, next benchmark will be 30. A few weeks ago, after an experience that precipitated a pmo relapse, I clearly observed my voyeuristic patterns and how I gather sexually stimulating images into my mind. I saw the intense effect that flooding my mind with those images and fantasizing with them has on my life, how it can cause me to lose direction and feel unstable... and the anxiety that forms, like wondering if I've been caught checking someone out, if anyone can sense what's going on in my head... and fearing what people might think of me. It degrades my self image. I fell into that way of being a long time ago, pretty unconsciously. Now that I've woken up to it and observed the effects, I don't have to be that way anymore. I've stopped the fantasizing and the voyeurism. It's not 100%, but the moment I notice myself start to do it, I end it. I like this way of being better.
The Sixth day of abstinence A day fraught with ogling. But I will not convert that into any physical action
Day 19. I am cultivating a sense of inner calmness. There can be a still place which we can retreat to when the temptations arise. We can let the urges pass by, knowing they are temporary, like waves in a storm. We can build our confidence in that refuge within ourselves.
89/365. I am reaching the stage where I feel better, but I get anxious because my porn-induced anxiety is less/gone. It's like a tiger(urges to relapse) is attacking you every few seconds, but then it fades away. Now my guard is down, and I feel uncertain. But I know it will come back when I least expect it. I need to start pursuing my goals(physical fitness being a primary one) more actively to cloud out any chance of that happening.
I downloaded Wim Hofs (the iceman) free 3 day mini course on the Wim Hof method which includes a breathing technique, cold showers and meditation. 5 days now of the cold showers. After the initial jolt I'm starting to enjoy them. I intend to make the breathing , which is supposed to alkaline the blood, the showers and meditation part of my life. When I start my day like this along with a bit of a workout it gets a momentum going . Quitting the pmo frees me up to create something strong and good of my being and to make something beautiful of my life. I'm grateful to you all because I couldn't do it alone. One day at a time.