I’m back, this time it’s on

Ok, I was here a while back, thought I was “cured”...then the relapses started...I thought I could handle it, but I can’t.

I started looking which lead to...ok we all know the trail of tears.

The past two days I was going to stop after. “Just one more time”...is this how drug users feel?

I wanted to see all my fantasies..then repeat.

When I spent the whole day looking I realized I’m out of control.

So what I did before to fix me didn’t work..so now what?

So first step was getting back on here.

 

That was a great video..amazing the similarities between porn addiction and drug addiction

I like the.. today I’m clean ..yes we get so caught up in how many days clean..maybe in the beginning that might be good..but after awhile that momentum can work against us, we stop being as vigilant as we were in the beginning.

 

It makes me take this addiction more seriously and at the same time realize I’m not alone.

It’s like porn is my drug of choice, my mode to check out..for other people it’s alcohol or drugs or gambling.

Gambling is definitely an addiction and just like porn it’s all mental and we can use it way more easily then even someone addicted to booze or drugs and it’s always in our face..we live in a bar our whole lives( to keep the analogy going)

 

Yes I’m with you, let’s make it count this time..no more “one,two, three your out!” For us anymore.

 

Thanks bro, just set it up

 

Thanks Day 1

 

Thank you.

We won’t fall bro, but if we do we stand back up...but falling sure does suck.

 

So woke up, meditated and had bad porn flashbacks( something I had all day yesterday) and bad HOCD thoughts.

I also didn’t have my morning “rise and shine” if you catch my drift.

I have like I have PTSD...this stuff gets stuck in your head.

Today I will not look at porn and I will watch my mind, if I have porn thoughts I will do what I can to stop them. I realize they will be there, and that’s ok, that’s part of healing. I won’t be passive though, I won’t embellish them.

 

Now I’M confused, ha. One day at a time my friend, that’s what I’m talking about...thanks for the shout back..let’s keep rocking it.

 

Today I will not look at porn.

Woke up with some HOCD thoughts..last night when our saw done hot women and then had this fucked up thought about transwomen..wtf!

Second day without porn so let the journey back continue.

 

Omg..those typos weren’t porn side effects but just fat thumbs lol.