Urges do not exist!!...urges are a myth

I agree up to a point, but temptation can be very strong. Last night I jerked off to porn (for what I am determined will be the last time). Before I did it, I wrestled with myself. I resisted temptation for a few moments but then...I gave in.

Did I choose to give in? Well, sure, I guess I did. I did have the physical power to turn off the damn computer and do something else. Nobody had a gun to my back making me do it. But there was a struggle inside my own head. Part of me wanted to do it, part of me didn't, but the part of me that wanted to do it won.

Can we control our desires, can we control what choices we make...yes we can, but it isn't always easy.

 

I agree there, absolutely. That's the point we all need to get to.

Regards your previous post - some days the desire for porn is stronger than others. I guess all sorts of factors could influence that. We do need to learn to control the desire even on the days when it is strongest. It isn't easy, but I didn't say it wasn't possible. If I thought it wasn't possible, I wouldn't be here, because there would be no point in even trying to quit. I'm determined to quit and that means overcoming the desire every day, not just some days.

 

Urges do exist a hundred percent. That's why theres a forum called NoFap and people who are on it lol. Because they keep getting the urge to PMO.......

 

urge
/ərj/

noun

1. a strong desire or impulse.

You may want to use some different terminology because as it stands you appear to argue against your own points.

 

I read the post and it's so contradictory and just very simple. All you're saying is to resist the urge to pmo. (Even though you said they don't exist???) We all know we're supposed to residt urges lol. This post is a ridiculously simplistic view on how to quit PMO. Urges do exist and if people find that by getting rid of their electronics or using porn blockers or getting rid of internet works then they should continue to do that.

 

There's a lot in your words. Thanks for offering them, @Infinite spirit.

For me, the big insight in this regard is two-fold:

• I do not have to get rid of urges / desires; this is not really what recovery is about.
• My task is to learn that urges / desires can arise without me acting upon them.

Not to suggest that this is necessarily easy (it's not)! In my experience, however, it's way more realistic and life-affirming that trying to banish urges / desires from my world. This has proven a long-term losing battle. And you can probably guess where I go after losing a battle...

 

Do you realize that I was not making a point against your case but instead in the way you are presenting it?

In one moment you try to make your own different definition of urges, then in the next, you use the very definition of urges. This is confusing and makes it difficult to understand what you are trying to get across.

But then you turn around and say it's not what I think it is. No, sir. You don't know what I think it is because I've not offered those thoughts for you to judge here.

Based on how you have treated what was a plain observation made without agenda, I'll withdraw from interacting with you here. Good day.

 

You should probably change your title to avoid confusion as it makes no sense

 

It's false information

 

Lol what