News Flash: I've lived in India for 2 years of my life. Another News Flash: I'm a med student myself and I use my cell phone for >4 hours a day and still get all of my work done. And i'm attending a prestigious university myself. Idk where you got the notion of ~30 mins from. If you have even a bit of IQ, you can manage your work just fine. I see. So this is your personal experience. I'd appreciate it if you would stick to the topic and not attack me personally. You'll find that I am quite adept at managing my life the "indian way". Kindly stick to the topic at hand. Thank you.
Sure have privacy,phone privileges nd look wher tht got me ... 290 days u rented out a few square cms worth of space breathing nd pooping whtever another living being gives u... U suddenly get 14 yr old.. Nd u think ur entitled to a room nd shit? Society has evolved ,ppl got more Rich... Parallely kids became brats ,Addicts
False, false, and false. I don't know how things work in your environment, but med school is actually quite easy. With the exception of some parts in Biochemistry, I'm finding these it to be a walk in the park. If you wish to continue this personal discussion, message me. Kindly desist from derailing the thread.
I have to partly agree with you. My parents forced me into sports when I was in elementary and middle school. I fucking hated it. It was hell.
I think the most important part is, to keep your child interested in other things. Try to enable him to have a healthy social life, to have other hobys he can pursue, and try to be a good parent, to have a good relationship to your child (this doesnt mean to be their "friend"!). Be a parent! Teach them responsibility early on, teach them some basic rules, teach them to respect you, but also be respectful to them and spent some time with them. That way you lay a good foundation, where it is unlikely that your child will become addicted (exposure to porn doesnt mean addiction, i think some people get that wrong). If despite that, your kid developes some unhealthy habits, talk to them, share your story, but try not to make it into a lecture about the bad bad porn (as some others have pointed out, teenagers dont respond to well to this), but instead explain to him why it would be beneficial to quit this habit, try to offer alternatives.
Ill start with that telling him that this isnt a big deal in life ...everyone of us have gone threw this ...etc etc and ill make sure that he/she was treated well...ill make a secret enquiry in his/her school we might dont know what our kid was going threw....Ill intro him to any sports off his wish...And spend time together with our family
"Watching pornography and then touching yourself is like watching a cooking show and then go eat dirt. Do you like dirt kid?"
i used to be on a anti-school forum where i used to really think about stuff like this. I see avoiding PMO as natural for a person, unless the stresses if living are too much for a person to bear. meaning, spiritual health is of the utmost importance and coercion makes sense i think for basic ethical conditioning when they are like 7 or younger, the most basic and often the first injury we do to our kids is FORCE them to do something they dont want to. School is the most hideous example of that ONLY because it is just so accepted as normal and commendable despite the plethora of valid complaints about how the system generally functions. I dont plan to send my kids to school past first grade, rather me and my wife will be managing their unschooling, that is, follow your interests whatever they may be. the good spiritual health of just being allowed and loved for just being yourself I think is a powerful baseline that serves as a context against which to evaluate the effects of behaviors from the dark realm... one of the reasons people fall into self destructive patterns is because its hard to see real life as worth the effort even, but my 5 year olds dont need to be told "go play"... people do learn helplessness and hopelessness, but often they are passively taught it
often a big part of therapy is "how exactly did your parents screw up" i think... they just dont say that
(@Asmo deus, check out this 2014 thread from @Saserman too: What would you do if you caught your kid fapping to porn? And these three are worth reading: @noonoon P and M dangers-tell your children? @galaxim How do you talk with your children about PMO/MO? @SpouseofPA PA and kids)
Hello, my husband and I have the same problem. At one time, my husband and I could not have children. So we really wanted to become a foster parents in Oregon. We took a child into custody, a lovely friendly boy, but he is grown up now, and we have encountered the same problem that you describe on this site; I do not know how to talk to our boy about it or what measures to take. We have limited his time on the computer, but it has not helped; I do not know what to do, please advise?
I do have children by myself - they are entering age when they could be exposed to P in internet. I have learned by myself how destructive P can be to child mind. I have a router with blocking filters, I also talk with my childreen about addictions - and why addictions are called addictions. I remember my parents never really thought P. can be destructive, I remember when my grandmother found a P. magazine in my brother room, and showed it to my mother - but she didnt really care about it. I remember finding P. magazines by my father in easily accessible places - even in toilet! Those are the errors I will surely not repeat with my children. Very often P. is not the route cause of the whole problem. A child might use PMO because of some other problems, like lower self esteem, lack of friends, lack of interests, etc. Finding this route cause might greatly help. I think its important to talk about this problem with the child naming it an Addiction - like any other addictions - drugs, smoking or alcohol. Its important to explain to your child that PMO addiction might be more dangerous - first most people does not find it an addiction or dangerous (like smoking 60years ago), second people says that everyone is doing it - so it shouldn't be bad. In my country major newspapers are writing about PornHub - and how successfull it was during pandemic - they don't condemn P. So the society is not helping us with this problem. The important thing is to not leave your child alone with his problem.
I discovered my brother watching fetish material on Youtube and I shared how bad this could go if if this habit were to persist. I showed him some articles, but the main lesson I displayed to him were the Coomer memes. I showed him guys that support the industry and make it their hobby, and how pathetic they are. I should ask him how he's doing.
I already know I'm not letting any future son of mine have a personal computer in his room like I did growing up, and any phone would have some sort of porn blocker/parental controls on it. Not to be one of those really strict fathers but it obviously comes form a place of love. I would still go ahead and have a talk about the dangers of porn because you already know they'll try to get around the controls. These days having a talk about porn with your children is just as important as have the regular sex talk.