New to NoFap and my soon-to-be wife deserves the best me!

Hello all, I go by SpeedPRDGi. and I am 31 years old. I am currently engaged to be married to my girlfriend of six years this upcoming May! As the title of my thread says, she is my motivation to get over what I now recognize is my addiction to porn. I've seen the term NoFap thrown around various websites and did not realize it was a very involved way to help in fighting back against porn addiction. Over the last three years, it feels like porn use is just a "normal" part of my daily life.

As a bit of a precursor to why I am now here, I just recently had my bachelor party this past weekend (which consisted of bar-hopping, party bus, and a strip club). I hate to admit that the strippers were able to get me "hard" far easier than I anticipated (even knowing that's what they're paid to do). Worse still, after that whole weekend, I felt tremendously depressed and resorted to using pornography multiple times daily so far this week; it's as if I am trying to duplicate that feeling I had during my bachelor party. Maybe some of it is anxiety before the wedding, but I really feel like my urges for porn are starting to get out of hand.

I know I love my girlfriend, and I want her to be my wife, but I also want to be the best husband I can be for her. Apologies for the long intro and being kind of all over the place! I am looking forward to any advice, tips and support. Thank you to all who come across this!

 

That's one of my dilemmas right now; she knows I use it, but not about my addiction. As we are getting married soon, I don't know when would be a good time because she is stressed about the wedding planning and all of that. Should I just tell her ASAP or wait until after?

Really appreciate the support, thanks again!

 

That would be awesome, I could definitely use the support and we're practically twins at this point, so why not?

And I think I may need to tell my fiancee about this, but I'm going to pick a good time to do so; certainly not going to judge your decision, whatever you believe is best for you.

Let me know how you want to communicate as APs and we can talk more!

 

Couldn't agree more, I just need to get my own head back to remembering that! Thank you Freddiefox, really appreciate your perspective

 

Hi @letter , thanks for your thought-provoking questions!

You couldn't have said it better; the kind of marriage that both she and I want is one that we can enjoy together. I actually just posted in my Journal, but I told her about my porn addiction on Saturday night; it was definitely a rough start to that conversation, but she has always proven to me that I can confide in her without judgment and while she is still processing things, we are heading in a great direction because of the transparency with this. I don't want our marriage to be one full of secrets, especially something that I am struggling with like porn addiction. It feels like a great burden has been lifted because I don't have to hide or feel like I am struggling alone anymore.

You and the many other users on NoFap have inspired me to confront this head-on and without hesitation. Thanks for your guidance and I look forward to continuing this battle alongside you and the Fapstronaut army!