Let me start by saying, this is an awesome forum, and I havent even really looked at it yet. The idea and support for this sort of addiction / issues is a gem. Anyway I've struggled with porn and everything that comes along with it for a long time, age 12 to be exact. It's led me to good times, bad times, shameful times, and remorseful times. I use this stuff including women so selfishly, and I read somewhere previously that i've done all this to numb myself, away from the truth deep within that I am afraid to face... generally, that all I desire is to love and be loved. Instead I settle for shit. Anyways, I need help, I am beginning my journey today (i've said this before) and any guidance, direction will be greatly motivated. I don't want to continue to damage myself and others.. It's just no longer worth it to me, nor has it really ever been. Thanks -Jay
Hey man, you already took the step by writing a post and that's awesome! I would start by making a counter to track your progress. Click on mine to make one, they really help because you can see how many days you have gone without it and whether or not you are improving. You could also make a journal if you'd like its up to you. But the most important part is to develop a plan. Why do you want to quit this, and what are you going to do about it. Organization is key, set goals every day figure out a system that works for you and practice it religiously. And Last, get in the right mindset. You are responsible for your relapses, you are the master of your own life, and if you want to quit this it is up to you. You have the full potential to be free from PMO. Good Luck
Spot on! Great advice. My only worry though is that a lot of the new guys don't do these important things. They can make a few days but I always think a relapse is coming if you don't put the effort in.
@lcs2000 Yeah I can relate to that. See for 2 years I had a plan and everything but not for one week could I follow through with it. It was stuff as simple as take a walk or workout for 10 min, etc. yet I would only go 1-2 days. Now I am finally starting to implement good habits into my daily life and I now realize the importance of not only creating a system of success but following through with it.
Understood, and I get it. But I came here as last resort so I mean business. So again, some one help me set up a plan.. and nothing generic, lets get down to business. What do you need to know, and who can help me set something up SPECIFICALLY. Thanks in advance
so is this just porn and masturbation... what about sex in general? I went to a massage parlor yesterday. No porn no masturbation, but im not sure if I should count that as a fail or what. what do yall think
Love your enthusiasm, you're in a good spot. First thing to do that is useful is take some time to write out a list of your 'bottom lines'; what are all the things you want to stop doing for your recovery? Doesn't have to be too detailed - just bullet points. Will be hard at first but gets your mind thinking. You will also get some stuff which isn't all about porn use. This will also help you figure out things like going for a massage. Ultimately will it help or hinder your recovery? Be honest and open with yoruself. Once done you then have a basic plan of what to avoid and to work on. The list can then be used to figure out your triggers. These won't just be things like 'my computer or smart phone is on', but more importantly your feelings. Do you use porn to reward, sooth, anxiety, stress, boredom? Hope that helps. I can review for you or give you more examples. The power of writing stuff down is a big help! David
Thanks david for the in depth reply. I agree, writing is imperative. Im luck to have a background in alot of these things, so it isnt hard for me to do. To be honest with myself, its not definitely not the postive option for me (a massage parlor) a) its illegal, and b) im not sure if it will help soothe the PMO cravings or what. however, at this tme I have decided not to count it, and focus on one thing at a time.. PMO. The good news is instead of staring at a computer screen, fantasizing, at least I got off in person with a human, with touch etc. Ha. Wow sounds so crazy. Anyhow, I just woke up qt 7am with uncontrllable urges to masturbate. crazy thoughts about females i know and sick to my stomach and empty because I know pmo will solve this feeling. The desire is just to be held just to have intimacy just to stick my dick in something and orgasm. sorry about the rant, just was appropriate timing. Day four. Heh
