Need suggestions

If meditation helps, then try to meditate the entire day. That's what I am doing and it really helps. Just be mindful of your breath, no matter what you're doing, and if you find your attention drifting away, just bring it back.

 

Yes it's even harder after a relapse. Happened to all of us.

It's perfectly healthy. If you are in good health, you should be able to take three minutes in ice water. If you do it for a couple of seconds in the shower, the only danger is slipping.

Just keep at it and you will grow stronger. It's supposed to be hard.

You don't need to push thoughts away. Rather let them pass and don't act on your urges.

 

The best (and true) way of avoiding those urges is by breaking the habit loop asap.

Basically you replace the situation in which you normally feel the urges with another setting that keeps you from relapsing. Then you provide a reward so the new behavior settles in. Check out this post and don't hesitate to ask anything.

 

Hi insigma,

I have a 2-part suggestion:
1) Start by strengthening your motivation to quit. Without a strong motivation, the urges will easily uproot you. In my case, it took me a lot of suffering to realize that I needed to quit P. It took some time, but I reached a point where I felt like it was "do or die" and that going back to P was not an option. I hope that you can reflect and find a very strong motivation so that you don't have to go through it the hard way. It is important to keep that motivation fresh. That is one of the reasons journalling on nofap is so helpful.

2) Be on the lookout, and whenever an urge to look at P pops up, replace it with a positive thought asap. Do this EVERY time an urge pops up. If you have 10 "pop ups" in a minute, redirect your attention in a constructive way 10 times. If you keep up, the urges will gradually weaken.
Don't worry: it gets easier!
An example of a positive thought that you could use to replace the urge would be "I want to be a sincere person." This was my motivation in a nutshell. I suggest that you use your own motivation with whatever phrasing works for you - as long as it is positive and encouraging. If you keep bringing up your motivation in your daily life it will stay fresh and become stronger. I found that I also needed to stop having sexual fantasies to maintain my goal. If this seems to extreme for you, at least consider not fantasizing in a way that ties into your old P habits. Try and think with a loving mind instead instead of letting the lust drive your thoughts. Trust me, this will be better for building a loving relationship with a partner.

Hope this helps - we're all rooting for you!

 

And as for quitting M, you can use the same method as described in my last post. In my opinion, overcoming the urge to M was more challenging because it is tied in with a bodily urge to reproduce. Still, don't worry if you really want to quit M you can do it. Just be prepared to face many challenges - libido tends to be higher for teenagers.
I found for quitting M and P at the same time, I just needed to relinquish all sexual thoughts. The bodily urges come up, but I do not allow the associated fantasies or intention to M establish themselves. It is normal and healthy to have bodily urges - the important thing is how you deal with them.
In my case, a major reason I did not quit M sooner was because I had many doubts and fears. If you have any that are bothering you, feel free to message me.