Many thanks to those who've read my posts and offered their comments in support. It helps me a lot to hear your stories and better understand what has happened to me. My journey has just begun but without your support it would already have ended. My wife and I are in constant communication. We're actually talking about going to couples counseling, which truly lifts my heart as I had just about lost hope of our ever reconciling.
this is a sign that u must go and change .. from inside.. u have the best support one ever had ...be the change u want to see bro..
I have been taking Citalopram and Mirtazapine for anxiety and depression. Only been taking them for five days, but they've allowed me to get some good sleep. Last night, for the first time since I started abstinence, I had an erotic dream of my wife and another woman. I awoke with an erction, which surprised the hell out of me, since Citalopram is supposed to be a libido supressant. I didn't do anything with my (half) erection; just let it subside. The episode gave me hope that celibacy is starting to have a positive effect on my ED.
I've been texting/sexting with an old girlfriend. She lives over 3,000 miles away, so the liklihood we'll hook-up is minimal (not sure I could actually have sex with a woman anyway). It's been exciting as hell, I got an erection twice while talking to her but did nothing with it. It did exacerbate my blue-ball issue, but as far as I'm concerned it was worth it. Any opinions as to whether this is a good thing for my PMO abstinence or not? There was neither porn nor masturbation nor orgasm involved.
At times my wife and I flirt which is great except when she's unavailable for sex. It's like throwing a bunch of coal in an old steam engine; it's hard to stop once started. I crashed many times in the past because of it. We finally talked about it and it's improved. Be careful to not get revved up with no release. HD
Well, I did get revved up but I didn't do anything about ity. M balls hurt like hell for a day but it was worth it. I guess I just needed to reaffirm my sexuality somehow even though I wasn't going to be able to obtain relief through orgasm.
Still hanging in there. Some days are good, some much tougher. One day last week though, I had so much energy it was unbelievable. Go figger. It'll be four weeks next Tuesday!
Even though my wife is dating another man now, she and I are communicating so deeply and so frequently. So very different than the way it was before our separation. It gives me hope in the midst of my celibacy...
Thank you for sharing that. I'm 50 and already feel like I've wasted so much because of PMO and likely booze as well. (Not a pot guy..) Your honesty helps people like me realize 1) it's never too late to try to improve your life and 2) if you don't make the decision and effort to truly change, then nothing will change....
50 is a great time to take charge of your life. You have so much going for you at that age. You're mature enough to make change happen and young enough to enjoy the results. Stick to your resolve man... great things can happen for you if you do.
Almost 60 days now and still holding tough. Thing is, I don't know how I'll be able to tell if abstinence resolves my issue or not, since I don't know a woman who is willing to let me have sex with her. Not eager to hire a prostitute; never paid for sex in my life.
80 days! Ten more and I'm going to try and find out if I have managed to rewire my brain so it prefers a real, live woman to porn. Still not sure how I'm going to do that. May have to pay someone to fuck me.
Well, it's now 107 and counting. Biggest news of all (for me) is that my wife (who left in January) and I are falling in love again. So far we're just kissing and hugging but she is open to having sex when the time is right! Tears of joy!!! So I won't have to have to hire a prostitute after all. Thankful for that; just didn't feel right to me.
