In Need of immediate help or advice

Hey man, just reading your post. I’m so reluctant to give advice as im not smart enough and I’m no expert and you know yourself better than anyone else.
It seems so hopeless some times but you have worked so hard at this. I decided to do a 90 day hard mode reboot (no pmo), I’ve determined that I’m not quitting so if I relapse I get back up, try and learn something about why I relapsed and go again. If you decide not to quit you can’t fail, relapsing is frustrating but it’s part of the journey. I also try and learn something new every time i come on here.
I’ve so much respect for you for trying to beat this. Please keep going, this is your fight but it’s all our war, we are in this together.

 

Hey man. It was definitely hard at first for me too. I tried to quit already back at 14-15 years old. I remember my very first streak being 2 weeks. It was different back then compared to now. I wanted to quit but couldn't. My will power was weak and probably the addiction was affecting my younger mind more strongly than later. So after that streak of 2 weeks, I don't recall going on a longer streak. It was a continuous cycle of relapsing. I would say that I won't masturbate anymore after doing it, and then would do it again a few days later. My thoughts were very mixed. I wanted to quit but then sometimes would accept that my habit was fine. That was just me coping for not being strong enough to quit. Obviously the habit wasn't good for me, why else would I want to quit?

So I finally managed to quit at 18. It was last year's late August or early September. June/July I was still on that cycle of relapsing. Me actually quitting was escalating. My will to quit was just getting stronger after every time I masturbated. The rate of masturbating slowly started to decrease. Eventually I masturbated to a porn video for the last time. After that I still masturbated once to a Youtube video and then for the last time without anything. Then it stopped.

You're on the same boat I was back at your age. But you can quit. I wasn't strong enough but you can be. Remember that porn is the enemy. You masturbating without porn is way better than with it.

 

just fighting the urge is hard and for many only makes it worse.

I'd suggest changing your relationship with the urge, dont fight it or try to run away from it.

this video led me down a path that made it much easier to control the urges vs them controlling me. if this ressonates with you, I can share a simple 2-3 minute breathing excercise that I found very helpful to better control the urges.

 

In my experience, this is an important part of our recovery process - the foundation or ground, in fact. So good on you for seeing and acknowledging this.

As next steps, I'd suggest the following:

• Clarify in exacting detail how this addiction shows up in your life.
• Begin to develop a strong sense of what motivates you to stop.
• Start noting and listing things that help you refrain to whatever extent you are able to refrain.
• Come here for at least fifteen minutes each day.

Best of luck...

 

Wow - well worth reading! Thanks!