Hey folks, so I've been going thru reboot for 11 months now, and want to post here what I like to term as the different "Stages of Recovery" that I personally went through as of so far. For starters I started out from a severe pornography addict and have reached a point where I am virtually free from pornography, don't think about it, and no longer need to count days. My focus lately has just been to rest, and build up on other aspects of my life; which I will go into further detail below: Stage 1 - Calm before the storm --To me these days were the most fun doing as things felt relatively doable, my initial motivation is still high at this point, confidence was going up etc. --Felt a big rush around day 6 almost like this overconfidence, and felt cured. I've done research on this and have identified this as the "honeymoon" phenomenon; or as I'd like to call it, the calm before the storm. Stage 2 - Withdrawal - Eye of the Storm -After the 14 day mark, things turned sour rather quickly and brought me down hard. -Withdrawal symptoms included: Insomnia, Flu like symptoms, Mood Swings, Extreme cravings for stimulation, Fatigue etc. Stage 3 - Flatline -Libido completely shuts off -Felt Asexual, felt like I had the libido of an 90 year old man -Lingering depression, low mood, low motivation, insomnia, loss of purpose,sexual frustration etc. -Nothing is more frustrating and awkward to me than to have had to pass up on countless opportunities because my libido was shot and my dick was lifeless -More prone to stress, as stress was one of my outlets for my PMO addiction. -I became extremely aware and unhappy with where my life was at. -Initial "motivation" was completely gone, and had to re evaluate and reinforce why I was doing this Stage 4 - Post Flatline, Recovery -Libido begins to come back gradually, along with sexual function -Hypersomnia -Weariness -Felt like waking from a coma -My theory on this stage is this: ----Due to the incredible physical, mental demands of the reboot itself as well as its prolonged duration of tension on the body, this demand finally catches up on you and your body goes into exhaustion and recovery once the majority of reboot passes. ----During reboot it felt like I was torturing myself, like I was fighting an internal war only I could see and visualize. Once it was over, I realized how weary I was and slept 18 hours for 7 days straight. It felt like coming home from a long weary battle. ----There's plenty of research done on the incredible toil and turmoil addiction recovery has on the body. It puts additional stress on the body, lowers immune system, hordes minerals and nutrients etc. A severe alcohol addiction for ex. can actually kill you during withdrawals due to its turmoil on the body; scary stuff, but good to be prepared! Stage 5 - Rebuilding of Reserves, Return to Normal Life -Here your body rebuilds its lost reserves, returns back to full functioning and you return back to your life with a new mindset. -Begin to learn to live life without having PMO as a crutch. Learn new life skills, realize new possibilities. -Second shot at life. So that's that, I hope this provides some of you guys insight on what a fellow addict went through in his recovery. I purposely didn't add "Days" to my stages as I am aware everybody goes through different recovery timelines. But for me personally, its taken 11 months, and I would imagine up to 15 months for full recovery. I would deem my case as one of the hardest ones to endure, and was pretty severely addicted. But the moral of the story is, if I can do it so can any of you guys. Lets get it done and be free from this forever. Feel free to leave comments below and ask any questions you may have. Wish you all a successful recovery Best Mateo
Mateo, You continue to inspire and provide a terrific service to this site. I find your carefully thought out words very helpful and am grateful for your efforts. I especially like the "stages" outline. It helps to realize that this process is going to take time, but also lets us know that progress is being made. Must read? Nope.....must read AND print out and save. David
I’m going through the withdrawal/flatline period right now and let me tell you the headaches, mood swings, insomnia are killing me! It sucks because I have an interview in two days from now !
@Shaque118: I am feeling the headaches and insomnia myself. And I have an interview in two days as well! (seriously) Good luck!
Oh, man! I am having a run of symptoms strangely similar to yours. ;-; I am going through "stage 3"; the only deference between your run and mine is that I am having suicidal thoughts. :/ Got any pieces of advice to offer as to how I should go through this as fast as you did?
I can relate to the suicidal thoughts. I suggest finding a support system as soon as you can. I had my Gf help me through all of this. Luckily she was understanding of my position which took so much pressure off of it. Go back to your roots and find moments that being you back to the present. The BIGGEST thing that helped me was to get out of the house. Literally just go for a walk and you will notice that the longer you are outside the better you feel.