And I mean, FUCK! How can it be, that I'm imprisoned inside my own body?! I'm having orgasms without wanting it anymore, each small movement, action or even thought can bring me to orgasm! Help me, fellas, this is the most difficult thing you can ever imagine to escape from! Really! From today on, kids' filter on computer, and I swear on my will to do this that I'll keep myself lucid in every moment, now. Every moment. This time it was in my bed. Thinking about hot images, I got an erection and in a minute I came. There's no way to escape it at that point. You think: oh shit I'm about to come, and it gets you in that precise moment. This time I left traces of sperm in my bed covers. I'll admit it, I'm just a teenager and I'm very worried with my parents discovering them. So I guess this is day 0, again! But if there is one thing that I think, it is this: there is a solution, I'll find it. Support me guys, first week is going to be tough!
There will be those two voices or impulses, and right now it may be that the good side seems weak, but the further down the path you go, it becomes the more dominant force and the wrong one becomes easier to dismiss. Not always easy, but easy-ER. The second month, I think, is in many ways easier than the first, and the third easier than the second. Just keep at it and persist, and that vicious cycle will be broken. Even if you can't see it or feel it now, there is much better territory up ahead and you can get there!
Day 50/365 Day 80 of Cold Showers One week ago I was certain that I would fail this challenge, then I realised I didn't want to flee from my problems, so instead I faced them head-on and kept going
You did well to not give in and drink or PMO. It's true that you lost your temper at your daughter. But you chose not to blame anyone else, realized where you went wrong, and transformed a potentially dangerous situation into a success. How you reacted to the situation really shows how much you've progressed.