I was watching porn since i was 13. I am now 19. Last month i went to a prostitute. She was a hot young blonde girl. But i couldn't get hard enough to have some fun with her and i was really ashamed of myself. She asked me if i was on drugs and i said no. It was just awkward. Did some research, found out that porn causes erectile dysfunction. It was life-changing experience for me. On my way back home, i was so mad and knew it was because of porn. I needed hardcore porn scenes to get aroused. She wasn't enough for me. Thats when i decided that i will quit porn for the rest of my life. If i don't, i won't have a normal sex life.
Certainly there is connection between porn and erectile dysfunction and porn. And here is why. Well, certainly you start losing confidence for sure. Because you watch all those actors who are specially made to do this kind of job. You may start admiring them whereas in the same time you start questioning your own masculinity. And more you question yourself you will start blocking yourself
ED is definitely a frustrating thing and stopping PMO will help you get out of that downward spiral... To me its was ED and also the damages on my relationship with the wife.... imagine when you can't stay up with the wife you love...because your brain was reprogrammed to seek novelty over the real deal.... I had this issue in 2016, rebooted for 180 days. After that, I lowered my guard. I started watching a little bit here and there....to the point where I badly start binging this pas t holiday season. I binged every nights for 2 weeks straight. I would start PMO'ing when the wife would go to bed and I would go to bed when she woke up.... I got instant ED when we tried to make love. so I'm back here again! I get some nighttime or morning wood. The wife surprized me once with something new (she knows about the addiction) and it was positive...but I'm somehow flatlining right now....when I stay off porn, I get less urges to try new and have invasive thoughts of sexual nature (porn-induced).
@Rise Above . I can totally relate. ED is what shocked me into giving up porn. Once I figured the direct connection Porn ----> ED, I did some research on how to better manage the cravings / urges and immediately quit last week ( I was daily PMO for over a year) @Itsmeagain I am in the exact situation (happily married, and I was addicted to porn). As part of quitting porn I also decided I was going to fall in love again with my wife. Our relationship had drifted more toward being best friends more than being in love. Let me ask you a question? When is the last time you hugged your wife? I mean really hugged her. A hug where it makes here think, wow this guy really loves me. If you are interested in learning more about what I have done in the past week or so (specific actions) to not only quit porn but to deepen the relationship with my wife, I'd be glad to share the steps. I have found doing this at the same time is quite helpful. Oh also, you can control the thoughts in your head vs them controlling you. You just need to learn how. its not that hard.
Yes, I'd be happy to follow your example. You hit the nail on the head. I told my wife that hugs and being close is not only good in the bedroom. We forget sometimes. We hug each other but it may be a "friendly hug" or a "going thru the motions hug" more than a love hug. We are doing better. Porn addiction made me a very sour man in the past, knowing that I have a lot to do and responsibilities at work and at home I'm expecting to get some sex at least once a week or more. Sadly, my experience is that the more sex I have, the more hugs I give. which is the contrary to what it should be. Now that I take some meds to sleep better and reduce anxiety a bit, I'm a better husband. My wife is also being followed by a doctor, as she was depressed by the departure of our daughter from the "nest". I guess the future looks much brighter than the past!
what my therapist told me is that the emotional connection has to come before the sex. So I've been focused on that. After 3-4 days of subtle changes in my behavior (light touch here, looking deeply in her eyes when we talk, not overdoing it) wife said "you've been so attentive lately I like it". Mamy wives (after periods of little romance) are going to assume you are doing it solely to to jump her bones. Need to find a way to make it clear to her thats not the case. Because it isnt. goal is to recoonnect. The sex will follow for sure. She has started getting more playful in bed but even though I know she wanted to, I didnt. BUT very important I told her I was wildly interested, wildly attracted to her I just thought we should work on other things first. nice.
