I need help! I really do. So joining this forum I feel is a good start. It has been years since I started watching porn. I think I was about twelve at the time. I am 28 today. Since then I have never been able to quit. I have no partner at the moment. But when I had I still watched porn. It´s like porn has destroyed my feelings of true LOVE. It makes me sad everytime I think about it. I promise myself everytime after fapping that I will never do it agian. In my head I say to myself ”this was the last time”... but the next day i’m sitting there watching porn again. I feel so horny that I cant control myself, so I turn to porn. Even tho I logically know this is crap. After im done I feel big shame over me. The biggest problem for me is the shame associeted with PMO. I feel like a crappy human being. I can not talk to anyone about my problem. There is no way I can tell anyone... that is why I joined this forum. I want to quit this on my own but I do not know how. Do you feel shameful after watching porn? Any tips on how to overcome this? How do you deal with extreme horniness? It is like every little thing is triggering me. A hot photo of girl on Facebook or a hot girl with push-up bra on the street walking by for example. What is going on with my brain? And sorry for my English... it is not my native tongue. Hope you still understand me.
Hey brother how are you? Welcome to Nofap. You will feel encouraged as you involve more in here and read other's experience. When we watch porn we are getting addicted to the dopamine rash and our mind does whatever it can to associate every part of our life with the porn experiance. As you drift apart from porn you are starving your mind of the dopamine rash which your mind wouldn't want. Your mind will make you think that there is nothing else but porn for a while, but when you manage to be clean for a certain amount of time the urges will decrease and you will start noticing other wonderful doors in your life. The problem is porn addiction is pretty tricky it snacks back in slowly through M or chatting or other things . Don't ever give up though. Keep coming back and take each relapse as a learning experience.
Hello ShameandGuilt, I believe you've made a great decision in joining this site. I share your thoughts with porn, and after every session saying I will never do this again. It's hard to talk about this sort of addiction because for many people they believe it is taboo and that no one should be talking about it. I believe that is why we feel so shameful for watching it, and we feel like if other people were to know that we do this, they wouldn't look at us the same. I've felt this shame before as well, and it is truly a hard way to live. I'm sure that by joining this site, and reading what other people have posted it will help you to understand that you are not alone, and there is nothing to be ashamed about! Just focus on working on your specific goals, and with some time and effort, you can achieve them. It'll be difficult, but it will also be very rewarding. I also would reccommend reading the site's "Rebooting basics" page which can be found at this link if you haven't already. It really helped me so far, and I'm sure it'll help you as well! Good luck my friend
the shame and the guilt just means that you have the potential to be a better person. by acknowledging these feelings you are taking the steps to change and you should be proud of that!
Hello bro. Thank you for you awesome explanation. It is really interesting how our brain works. You say "As you drift apart from porn you are starving your mind of the dopamine rash which your mind wouldn't want". I believe you... but I wonder how long will it take until the effect is reversed. Because it feels the longer I stay away from porn the easier i get horny and harder to stay away. However my record is only two weeks, then I relapsed. I felt like my brain was forcing me to fap. It felt like I lost all control. This soooo hard. Thank you my friend for you kind words. Gosh why did I not join this forum earlier? This site is awesome. I agree with you... the topic is really taboo, and I am glad there are websites like this. It is like "anonymous alcoholics" but for porn addicts on the internet. I will sure read the link. I have bookmarked it. Thank you. Oh, I have never looked at it that way. Interesting. Maybe because the feeling of shame is so powerful inside me. Sometimes I feel like i'm going insane, when I can't control my porn urges, and then, after relapse I feel shame again... and the cycle continues.
Sometimes even the smallest victories can help to break that cycle of shame, and guilt over relapsing. Maybe you didn't watch for a longer period than you did the last time you relapsed. Maybe you didn't let it suck you in a bit more than last time. When we look at some small things that we have done to help ourselves, it can really make a big impact. Trying to be positive will help even though it is way easier said than done. Try your best to not feel as shameful about the subject; you aren't the only one who has these struggles so try to think about that. Again, this is all easier said than done, but I have tremendous faith that you will one day meet your goals. It won't be an overnight change, but it will happen.
Hey bro how are you. I think it depends on how long you have used porn and also how much desire you have for it. If you had a good O before you decide to quit porn it would be easier for your mind to get you back into it. Do as much research as you can and write down how porn affected you and would potentially affect your future. Maybe like if you have erectile dysfunction caused by porn, you have a great motive to quit it. Kill the love you have for it slowly. But as i mentioned above it is not something that can be done in one instance. It is gonna be a long challenging process. But we all are here looking to conquer it. Stay strong bro.
Forgot to mention avoid your triggers until they are not your triggers anymore. Like looking at a sexy women in the street is your trigger please avoid it. At some point in your recovery most of your triggers now wouldn't be anymore.
