Struggling with Motivation to Not PMO

Hey man. Hold on. First step to get back on your feet is... Not giving up when you fall.

People here are right. Coming on nofap helps, a lot. DONT BE negative about it. Reading posts and answering people makes you formulate your thoughts in your head and makes you be more connected to the reasons you want to stop. So come back everyday, even when feeling good.

What you need is a feeling of a fresh start, whatever that is for you and reach a few days of porn free whichwwill bring you a positive mind to continue and feel better.
For me, fresh start is to talk about my last PMO with my gf and reset my counter, and clean my accumulated notes of "to do" which keep me feeling "I have something to do". That is a trigger for me. For me, my "change of habits" come with a simplification of my thoughts. I try to keep off internet as a much I can. I have a minimum of 1social media just to message people, but no social media on the phone. I try to focus on simple activities, read, walk, NoFap, headspace, sport, some gaming and tv, and work. I'm mostly removing any stress or pression coming from a too big objective or project, which I can't focus on while I'm fighting porn. To be clear, you have to replace porn, not fight it. It should be positive energy toward other stuff than negativity and reminding "I want to but shouldn't go on porn".

When you feeling great, hang on to the feeling, but keep coming back on nofap, to not lose sight of the motivations. In my case, I went slowly back to older habits by not going on nofap. Like I said, talking about it, or writing about it makes your thoughts more concrete. My porn problem is I let myself be overwhelmed by pornrelated fear/stress/sadness + behavioral addiction + feeling not motivated for other stuff in my life, which leads me to automatic-nonthinking-porn-addiction.

Overall for me, fighting porn resolve to be active rather than passive.

 

That's right the internet is a bubble and you get what you seek. If you put all your energy in seeking negativity, surely that negativity will reflect in your life.
Don't worry about things you have no control over, rather, put all energy you have into guiding the things you have control over in the right direction.
The worst mistake men make is taking themselves for too important. No one cares if you say or do something embarrassing or fuck up (unless you are famous or loaded). Sure there's people who hate men, there's people who hate women. And they surely will never be successful in life because they put all their time and energy into whining and throwing pity parties rather than make progression in their lives.

Diss them with success. Taunt them with achieving happiness and attaining achievements. They are neither worth your time or your energy.

 

Well SFT, going by your first post, you are not being honest with yourself. You are just making convenient excuses like "some people hate men, that means some people hate people like me, which makes me feel bad thus it's okay if I PMO a little."

Now, don't get me wrong, it's not like I don't understand where you are coming from, but you are, right now, in a place of victimhood. You see yourself as a "victim of politics and society". It doesn't matter if it's actually true or not. It doesn't matter if some people hate you or try to deter you from having a good life. As long as you see yourself as a victim you will hand your fate to other people and can not control your own destiny.
The first thing you need to do in order to become the man you seemlingy want to become is to take responsibility for your situation.
It doesn't matter what has happened to you, or where you are from. It doesn't matter why or how. Surely, if there is something deterring you like depression or things along those lines, you need to treat it.
However, everything else are excuses in order to not get uncomfortable with yourself. You are trying to avoid your pain, which in turn ever increases your pain.
Think about it like a pair of socks.
If you wash your socks every week and pick the singles to pairs together you will find the matching socks very quickly.
However, if you wash your socks only every 6 months, or once a year or even, never until you got 10000 pairs of socks, there's a lot of single socks and it will take you disproportionally longer to find the right ones.
It's the same for your problems.

One reason you may feel no motivation to stop PMO is because you haven't suffered enough yet. Some people don't feel to need to change until they are on their breaking point.
However do you really want to let it come so far?
Don't you have loved ones? Would you rather PMO and walk around like a shadow of yourself than spend time with your loved ones. Watch other men having sex, like a cuck, wasting all your youth, only to wake up in old age, hating yourself for never having had the courage to face your issues.
Not picking up your mother's call, who loves you and wants to know how you are, because you have your dick in your hand and are panting like an animal because there's some pictures on your computer screen. Until they day she, and others. you say you love, are gone, and you start wailing in regret because your dick has been stronger than your mind.
Don't make me laugh.
Don't make excuses. If you want to fap, then at least admit that you don't really want to change. If you feel no anger for your situation, if you feel no love for the people you say are important to you, then at least be honest.
Because PMO affects everything. It affects your future job prospects, your wife/girlfriend, your children, your whole personality.
If you are fine with being a soyboy because you feel 'no motivation', then that's okay. But don't make such laughable excuses like politics and "because feminazis on twitter said mean things about people like me."
This isn't Disney-Wonderland, this is survival of the fittest, mate. And right now, you are at the bottom of Darwin's food-chain. Just because you feel comfortable, or at least, not so uncomfortable right now, just because you don't see imminent danger, doesn't mean it's not there. The predators have changed, but they are still there. They are homelessness, mental illness, your loved ones going through trouble but you can't help them because your fetishes have escalated to watching guys fcking your ass even though you are hetero and you are too preoccupied with yourself and too ashamed to stand your man and actually get stuff done. Not earning enough money because you don't have the energy to work hard and rather fapped than gained skills that would help your promotions. Becoming fat and getting diabetes because you didn't work out. Being fired from your job because you just couldn't help browsing NSFW stuff. Becoming a rapist or pedophile because normal porn just didn't do it for you anymore and you just couldn't control your ugres. You think this is a joke? Think again. Most sexual assailants have/had porn addiction. Just look at their interviews. Do you want to end up in prison because you sexually assaulted a minor? Because, even if not very likely, it's still a possibe outcome if you have such half-baked resolve.
It's time to wake up mate. Try to get a grip on reality and a sense of urgency.
Right now you are in free fall and it's just a matter of time until you hit the ground.

You are going to fking suffer. Do you hear me? You are going to stop PMOing and feel miserable. Every day you are going to feel bad and feel pain and guilt and everything that comes with it. And you are going to take it like a man. You are going to abandon the things that don't help you in life and actually start respecting yourself and do things, that do help you in life. Because by helping yourself you will, no matter what, in consequence help the people you love. And you are going to find more people you will love. Girls, friends, everything. But as long as you sit in front of your screen fapping to other people having sex you will never meet those people.
So suffer, suffer for yourself, for your future, and for the people you love. Until the day you have conquered your suffering.
Pain is fleeting only the pride remains. Or wail in regret when everything is too late.

 

Some good insights on this thread. Just a couple thoughts.

First, instead of only focusing on what you want to avoid (i.e. PMO), focus at the same time on what you want to pursue (good relationships, career success, peace of mind, good health, spiritual development, whatever.) You have to have something to replace the hole that P leaves, and also, positive motivations have more staying power than negative ones (in my opinion).

Second, it is true, we live in difficult times for men. For decades now we've been hit on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper for all our supposed flaws, while women have been glorified on some kind of pedestal like they're incapable of imperfection. One day social historians will look back and see this clearly, but until such time we males must find our own strength and confidence within ourselves, despite the misguided cultural noise. For me I do this by reading books that resonate with me, meditation, exercise, exploring nature, creative expression, etc. Find your own path, trust in yourself, and you will grow both more motivated, and more resilient.

 

Masculinity cannot be defined by a tv commercial. I have never felt more masculine than when I held my first little baby - not when I was doing weights or having a stupid affair or downing pints with the lads. That's not being masculine. Knowing yourself and knowing what you want to be - even if that is a difficult road - that's what you are after, and you can do it. If it was easy, it wouldn't be worth it. I thought PMO was harmless - who was I harming? Decades later, I can tally up everything that I threw away, missed, or ignored because of it. You can do it. Do not give in. You have got this.