RELAPSED AFTER A YEAR

I don't think the urge of watching porn really exists, I think the urge of having sex exist, and the urge of a dopamine rush to evade yourself from your problems exists, if those collide you might find yourself going for porn, which is something you know very well that pleases both those urges.
When I was in the darkest times of my life I went from abusing weed, to abusing fast food, to abusing gambling, to abusing porn, sometimes all combined, desperately looking for evasion. The gambling one was ridiculous, I would almost run from home to the gambling house, because I knew every second on the way was a second of mental chaos debating myself.

 

If you lasted a full year, then you don't need to worry so much I guess you seem to have it under control and one relapse does not kill your success in any way ! Good job bro

 

Stopping during a session and do a one year steak is amazing ! Congratulations. Indeed it does not seem alarming that you relapse after a year. You clearly can control yourself if you want to. However I find it quite terrifying to know that the temptation can still be there even after a year of abstinence ! It is as if you never really recover. For me with my 75 days it seems quite discouraging !

 

Of course you'll never stop liking porn, at least some of it, like videos of strip teasing women. For as long as you have libido, porn will be a viable resource for indulging, using your sexual desire as a tool for pleasure. We humans are experts on that, that's why we invented condoms, to bend nature to our will, to make use of sex for our pleasure instead of for its purpouse, which is reproducing.
If you ask any of us who keep a healthy diet and exercise for aesthetic bodies, none of us manages to never eat unhealthy food for a whole year, we allow ourselves a cheat meal here and there. I think with masturbation it should be the same, only that I won't masturbate to porn, knowing the way it messed with my head in the past.

 

Thank you man, this is reassuring

 

OMG i also went through that phase. Totally self destructive, lost in mind, no direction, sad, awkward, impulsive, various addictions...

im very very grateful to have found the right path. I hope my social life may improve in some time though, that has gone very low, and still is pretty low. But can't complain as i see how much my lifestyle has changed nowadays.

I hope you keep on the good path bro. I dont need to tell this, you already know, but i have learned that all those bad habits, seem like a 'solution' or relief, to stress and problems, but it's one big illusion. It only brings more misery & problems. I aim for clarity and becoming clean . Nofap is a katalyst for a good life i feel like.

 

My social life went to shit there too, from being the most extrovert of all my friends, to not being able of looking into my mother's eyes, to tremble and feeling like having fire in my gut when talking to someone, even to the cashiers... Always paranoid about what people was thinking of me. I think I had post traumatic stress disorder from a combination of bad social experiences in a few months, and weed worsing it all. I'm very well now, I'm even working as a bardtender. Step by step I recovered. In the end people healed me, I don't know about everyone else, but as for me, people is the only thing that makes me happy. I don't need more than food, water and good relationships to share a laugh, to just chat, do stuff together...
Whatever is your situation, resigning to it is never a solution. Working on improving yourself can only lead to something good. So go for it, you are the only obstacle for that.
A couple african (or so I think) proverbs:
When there's no enemy within, the enemy outside can do you no harm.
You are not what they call you, you are what you respond to.
Also, regarding the social awkwardness, Paco de Lucia said that, as he spent most of his days alone, practicing guitar, he would get cold sweat when he knew someone was going to call that day, it was very uncomfortable for him to socialize after so much time alone, but, as he said, "15 days on a Tour heals it" (musical tour, that is), so just as I found out, healthy people will provide the right context for you to heal.

 

Just make sure you dont fall for it too many times from now on. We are humans and that need will ALWAYS be there. We might be weak at times but is essential to keep the guard up,and get up quickly if we fall!

Stay strong.

 

Of course, that's like having a choclate after having being obese. Of course you're going to want more, we all love whatever gives us pleasure, whatever triggers the reward system of your brain, specially if it is something that you used to abuse.
We all want to have the dessert after dinner, but in this life everything is a choice. You want to be an indulging pig? Feel free to be so, but we aware (and you already know this), it comes at an expensive price, both phisically and emotionally.

 

Like someone said, I don't think it is actually the urge itself that doesn't go away. It is our desire for sex itself and the dopamine seeking behavior that can seemingly lead one back to porn even after years off it without any rhyme or reason.

 

Oh and all the sexual garbage available at our fingertips creates a digital environment of everlasting, lifelong temptation.

 

Go do some vigorous physical activity? I want to share a channel of a guy doing NoFap videos too, he has 4 years of progress but he is doing it to help. He is a coach and let me say I wouldn't pay him but hey I like his free YT videos.

I just subscribed to him as I am regularly using Roku (beside the point). I watched his past videos and for some reason this guy is built of pure reason and makes so much sense.

https://www.youtube.com/user/1000lifelessons

 

i'm not gonna scare u but once i had a 600 day streak and one day a sudden urge to watch porn popped in my head, i thought well i'm over this addiction watching a couple of clips won't hurt and after about 30 min i was watching porn and rubbing myself and eventually i relapsed, that one relapse seemed nothing serious back then but guess what! i became a porn addict once again since then (8 years ago!!!)
be careful dude, no matter how many years have been past, you can always become an addict much much easier than you can imagine!!

 

You don't need any filter, you are your filter. I have sex dreams almost every night, I wake up with that vivid dream in mind, having a morning wood, and I don't go for porn, I don't even feel the urge for it. I understand that my mind and body wants me to reproduce, not to watch porn... So why tricking my mind and body into thinking that I had sex by masturbating to a screen? It's like being cold and drinking alcohol to feel -not be- warm. That's the way a lot of Russians die, btw.

 

Wow. You're scaring me. What happened to you ? Did you have urges during the last half of your 600 days streak ? What would you recommend to avoid such a relapse ?

 

well actually in 2009 (i was 17) i didn't know there is such a thing as "porn addiction", i felt sick with everyday i was watching porn and masturbating, i developed some kind of mental disease, severe anxiety, breathing issues, sleep problems, i thought maybe masturbating is the cause and i decided to quit, after few months and using anxiety pill (such as valium) i got better and all my problems vanished. the fear of getting sick was the most important reason that kept me away from porn and masturbating for more than 600 days. finally when i went to the college urges became strong again and i started watching porn which led to my relapse and masturbating again. for the first 3 years i didn't feel bad, my energy was good, no anxiety nor sleep problems and i totally forgot that masturbation is bad for my health until 4 years ago which my overall health declined again, my sleep quality became poor and lots of other problems emerged. well since 4 years ago i'm fighting with myself and so far i failed! but i keep trying. if u are a porn addict and if pornography makes you masturbate you must stay away of it for your rest of your life, this addiction is always stays in your mind and a small trigger would set it off.
good luck on your journey!