The 2019 X90 Hard Mode High Accountability Elimination Challenge

Thanks for adding me! I check-in for today. This marks my Day 31 of NoFap / PMO and tomorrow marks year one of no sex as well since I've made a conscious decision to abstain from casual sex, sexting etc. It's a hard mode right? I want to attain Day 90 goal to get my mind cleared of all this bs and mental conditioning. A few guys I know (one of them is one week ahead of me with NoFap) say that it's way harder for guys and my struggle is not a big deal but I feel otherwise especially on days like today when I'm all emotional and lonely and it is very tempting to stuff that inner void with PMO, alcohol, sex, food etc. I know it's a very temporary relief so I am looking for other ways to deal with that stuff.

 

Stay strong brother, you got this. Stay in that gym until the feeling passes, dont stop working out, work until you can't stand up anymore, push yourself!!

You are stronger than those thoughts, you are better than those thoughts. Understand that the body is just telling you want it wants and you're the master, you're on control, you decide. You're going thru withdrawal and its perfectly normal yet unbearable.

Exercise, meditate, deep breaths, call someone on the phone do WHATEVER IT TAKES to get yourself to a safe place. REcognize that these are just thoughts and they are NOT TRUE, THEY ARE A LIE!!!!

Think about later today when you're out an about and this moment has passed. tHink about how good you'll feel knowing you got past it. Think about how crappy you'd feel if you did not make it.

This is a mind exercise and you can wint !

 

Hey welcome back, thanks for replying. First off, one can tell you how to feel or how hard it is for you, especially a guy. You have thoughts and feelings which are your own and no one can tell you they are wrong or incorrect (except.... when I'm having sexual thoughts and urges that are related to PMO, I know they're a lie so for you it might be the same).

Congratulations on your current success and I admire your goals of abstinence. That's a worthy goal and you're doing excellent. Give yourself a ton of credit for that!! Like go out and celebrate and do something or buy something to reward yourself. We beat the crap out of ourselves when we "fail" but we never do enough for ourselves when we win.

It's great that you see it as a temporary relief and escapism, you've won half the battle knowing that. You might want to focus on things that are healthy and make you feel good. Also you might want to look at those feelings which you've defined that make you feel bad. Really look at them and say 'why is this making me feel bad?' and really try to dig deep down a few levels to get to the source.

Good luck!!

 

Hey!!! Is this day 7 of your longest streak ever????

Dude!!!! THAT. IS. AWESOME!!!!!!

CELEBRATE!!!! Pat yourself on the back, high five yourself!!!! You are rocking this thing!!!!
Seriously, we never give ourselves enough credit.
Awesome job

 

The last time I had sex was not good and that's when I said no to casual sex. I felt like used and depleted after that. So I won't have sex with casual flings as I don't feel good without the connection. It's different for girls or at least for me. I need to feel connected or it's a conclusion I've reached in my personal journey. No more casual sex, sexting, text-only guys and things like that. I want the real deal.

 

Yes, it does. And - maybe it's only a girl thing - it leaves me with a sense of being used and objectified, just for the sake of dumping one's seed somewhere, well today I was "lucky" to have been used for this purpose, tomorrow there'll be another one. It only deepens the loneliness and consumerism-mentality. We tend to assess men or women through the will-(s)he-bring-me-any-pleasure lenses. After that bad sex (it was bad because I didn't feel any connection even though it was there while we used to talk before, it was not a one-night stand) that guy even dared to call me a slut while being drunk even though he had no reason for that whatsoever and I always respected him. Not anymore after hearing this. This was the moment when I said NO to any further objectifications of myself both internally and externally - maybe the word slut I heard from that guy was the description of my inner emotion while engaging in casual sex. No more.
I've been asked here whether I am religious. Yes, I am. My body is my religion. I respect it and I care deeply about it now and I don't want any casual f---boys calling me a slut and disrespecting my body and myself in my life anymore. Maybe that was my bottom which I had to reach in order to realise that there is another path.

 

Congratulations on sticking to your standards. You're not alone in wanting connection, I believe that's the way that it's supposed to be when people love each other. There's nothing wrong with casual sex if everyone's comfortable with it but porn has shredded any sense of decency associated with it and is teaching young people that's how we're to treat women.

It's sad some young people today aren't learning the right lessons when it comes to treating women and being in relationships.

 

On the one hand I'm sorry you had to go thru this experience, on the other, it seems to be a defining moment in your life when you made a change to be better for yourself. That's incredible and you've excellent self insight.

 

Awesome man, great job!!! I love the plan on a whiteboard, that's an excellent idea.

I'm a huge Tony Robbins fan, I've listened to a ton of his material, been to his events and even had a coach thru his company. Most everything I know is something I've heard from him.

Mark this one up as a huge win for you so that next time you're in this state you can look back at it and know that it is manageable.

Take care!

 

Hello, you can join but I've not been adding new people until they're here at least a week since they tend to ghost out so quickly.

What are you looking to get out of this?

 

Dude Jennifer Connolley doesn't want you looking at porn nor getting off to her. If she was with you, she'd want you as the man you are, not the one that gets off on porn or her. She'd want you to be attracted to her but not getting off on her like that.

good luck.

 

Awesome dude, keep it going !

 

Awesome dude for not feeling bad about it. There's no reason to feel bad about anything we do honestly. The guilt and shame we feel when we M is a learned behavior that doesn't need to happen.

Using M to get things under control is alot better than looking at porn IMO.