very nice approach, on one level I have the feeling that it will be very effective, but when you say wait with a sniper and shoot the urge in the head when it comes knocking at your door, I actually don't get exactly what I have to do! can you give me some hints, thanks!
You are thinking of the sexual urge as a single being, it's not. Ok, let's make it simpler, YOUR sex-drive is like opposition in the distance coming towards you in a game (lets say Call of duty or Counter-strike) I say sniper, because with a sniper, you can shoot the target before they become in anyway a threat, and this relates to masturbation because the longer you go with the urge, it ends up getting you = relapse.
hmmm, now I think I am getting it, so you mean, instead of ignoring it, until it gets closer and closer and becomes stronger and stronger, at the first moment, notice it and accept that it is coming (when your ability to noticing it will be greater and greater as you practice this!) okay, I have to say this is great, because I have caught myself many times, noticing the urge and then all the negative feelings of "oh, my god, not again!" coming to my head. every time I try too resist it more and more, but as you know, it will take only 2, 3 days until I relapse! so, I think I get what's your point to this point, when an Urge comes my way, I won't ignore it, I notice it and I have to prepare. my question is the preparation phase! what I have to do? I have read all about taking cold shower, going for a walk, watching good movies and listening good music, concentrating on other things,and some other stuff! is that your point? shooting the urge in the head, contain any of above? or I have to do something else?
I like how you pointed out that running away is not the solution. I used to make the same mistake, hoping for the urges to decline by themselves with time. But it was not before I learned to consciously steer my thoughts and actions into the right direction, that I managed to make actual progress. However, I like to see my sex drive not as an enemy. It's something natural that needs to be controlled and directed into the right channels. And that negates things like watching porn or masturbating. Of course, what you could indeed see as an enemy, is any urge for something unnatural, dirty, perverted. And you do need to "shoot it dead". But you must also learn to separate these unnatural urges from your natural sexuality. Otherwise you will just again be working against your body.
