Hi all, I had to post something about what has been going in my head lately. As some of you know I've been rebooting on and off...I'd usually get to 10 days and then relapse. But now after I relapsed a few times, I realised that I can go a few days without PMO (a big difference from mid 2013, when I couldn't go any length of time without PMOing 3 times a day.) One big thing I've noticed since rebooting (and subsequently relapsing) is my mental health. I've had a realisation that PMOing has made me try to fill a hole in my life with oner things, because I now know that I was simply not getting enough pleasure from anything else. I had rewired my brain so tightly to PMO that I couldn't enjoyment out of anything. In October, before rebooting, my spending was through the roof. I would go to book shops and spend over €80 on books, any shop really, games, DVDs...anything except for things to do with my personal appearance or hygiene. I would never splurge on hair or male beauty products or clothes. I know now that I've been trying and failing to fill this missing hole with all the books, games and DVDs that I could buy. There is stuff sitting on my shelves that has never been opened or used. LOL. I kept getting distractions about wanting the latest piece of tech or book, simply neglecting my health, looks and emotional wellbeing. Another thing is emotional connection - since rebooting I've found it much easier to get upset and be upset about things. When I was PMOing, I couldn't get upset and nothing affected me. On Friday, I watched a soap opera where a son came out as gay to his dad. I was in tears watching it. Like literally, still getting upset thinking about it. I haven't had an emotional response like that in years. I'm just shocked at the damage I have been doing to myself. I wanted to ask you all if this seems normal? I have been thinking since October that I might need to see a counsellor. I have been meaning to speak to my doctor about it. As always, I'm posting this as I really want anybody out there to benefit from my experiences.
You should channel your attention to useful things and improving yourself. Learn new things, like new language or what ever your interests are. I would recommend you to stop watching junk programs such as soaps because they are designed to screw with your mind and to create addicts of consumers. Ever noticed how it always end with a cliff hanger? This is what helped me to last this long: workout, learning, self awareness.
You might find this thread interesting, is a long one but could give you some insight? http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthrea...oot-or-reroute
