Hi my name is Hyde, I am 23 yo and I have a problem, not with porn but with sex and masturbation. I often spend most of my time dating and texting girls who I end up having sex with, and when I have no one to date I spend my hours looking for new girls on social media and masturbate to the idea of going out and having sex with them. I have tried many times to get out of this cycle but I have found that boredom, loneliness and depression make me fall back on it everytime. This addiction makes me lose my time, money and energy. I have a lot of projects and things I wanna do but I often feel low and lonely, sex and mastubation give me the instant gratification that keep me away from pursuing my dreams I really need to stop I feel like my life is running away and the day will come when I am an old man who did nothing with his life other than waste it and hurt people with my stupid behavior. I want to do this. I am sure my life depends of this and I need help. I hope I'm able to be part of this community and reboot my self, and if I manage to do so I will be happy to help others reach their goals. If you have any advice or a success story you would like to share I would love to read it
Hi Hyde ! First welcome to nofap! your situation is a little bit unique but I think part of your problem is that you are using social media and dating apps AS porn. I can totally relate to your story. before my wife I had already had 13 sexual partners (more if you include oral sex. and so many that I pursued but nothing came of it.). Much like porn it was never fully satisfying. I enjoyed the hunt of finding a new partner. In so many ways it fucked my brain up just like porn did. It has robbed my marriage in many ways that I am now paying for and working hard to fix. I know you said "porn" isnt your problem but check out www.yourbrainonporn.com anyways. Our brains have not developed to have dozens of partners and be flooded with images of beautiful girls. I used to use social media as a porn substitute. I would check out friends, ex gfs, my wifes friends, strangers. I would look up and find people I barely knew (cashiers, waitresses ,baristas, receptionists etc.). I got scary good at finding people on social media knowing only their first name. Just to check out their pictures. I think for your situation you should avoid social media and dating sites and treat them as porn. Feel free to shoot me a message if you want to talk, Hyde. -Kurt
Wow, thanks Kurt! What you say is right, it fucks my head in the same way Porn does. I will try to get away from social media and dating sites. I used to be active on Tinder but I have been able to resist the urge of reopening my account for many months now Social media will be hard because most of the few friends I have are in there...but I guess it's something I must do in order to get better. Thanks for the advice
I hear you brother. I can definitely relate. I deactivated my fb over 2 months ago but you can keep messenger (which i did). I moved to washington state 7 years ago and haven't ever found as good of a friend as my best friend who still visits at least once a year. Actually i take that back, i have my wife, daughter and dog. They each provide a friendship that he can't. Reach out to your friends and be brutally honest why you need a break. find ways to maintain contact. This doesn't have to be permanent.
