Hey y'all, Anybody has any tips to stop complaining and ranting about everything and being sarcastic all the time? I have been like that my whole life but I am sick of it and want to change. I thought about writing down my complaints and rants in a notebook whenever something pops in my head but I don't know if it will help. I absolutely want to stop externalizing my complaints in front of other people. Any thoughts greately appreciated. Thanks!
Try this. Write down what you are grateful for. for example... thought: my job sucks, my boss is a jerk, I'm underpaid and overworked. write down: I'm thankful I have a job that is steady.
Have you done this yourself? So each time a negative thought crosses my mind, I'm writing down a positive thought?
I haven't done this exactly. But I also suffer from negativity. to counter it I try to practice being grateful. When we count our blessings we find we don't have it THAT bad. I dont know where you live. but if you live in a first world country (u.s. canada, uk and most of europe) then you are part of the top 1% globally. That alone is something to be thankful for.
It's an identity that you've created bit by bit over the years. So you'll have to create a new one bit by bit over time. Thoughts and feelings expand to become actions. Actions expand to become habits. Habits expand to become your way of life and who you are. Being positive or at least not complaining is something you have to practice. You have to interrupt the old patterns and introduce new ones. There's no real easy way to go about it. It takes emotional intelligence, awareness, and a willingness to change on a consistent basis. You built this identity for a long time. It takes a lot of effort to tear it down and build a new one.
I know. If I could find a course of action to get rid of my negativity overtime that aould be great. It's already pretty hard to even realize I am being negative when I am.
The payoff of negative thinking is that you gain a sense of control. You predict that things will always be negative and you get to say "I knew this wouldn't workout. I knew life would suck. I knew things would go wrong." Being negative can also feel good and comfortable. Especially when other people support you and give you attention. Which is almost like congratulating you for being a victim. Maybe find something better to talk about or a better way to occupy your time. If you come alive and get energy from being negative around others, then you need a new passion. Do you have positive things in your life to talk about?
I have an excruciatingly negative job by nature (lawyer) and all me and my colleagues do from dawn til dusk is find problems, fix problems and prevent problems by thinking of the worst situations that could arise. We get stabbed in the back by our clients, colleagues, opposing counsel, accountants, administration and even support staff on a daily basis. So not sure how I can be positive in such a hellish environment. By the way most of the time like 95% of the time I turn out to be right about my judgments which is just so depressing. Maybe if I wasn't right so much I'd tell myself all this negativity is pointless. I'm not putting myself as a victim, I'm just stating facts (I'm not a pity seeker). In my world it just seems like there is no room for light. Thinking about people's problems 70-90 hours a week leaves you little room for positive thinking. But I'm gonna give it a go.
I recommended learning about Stoicism and the philosophy behind it. Stoicism gave me a better perspective and mind set when I was whiny and blaming everything else(not implying you are just mentioning I was). Also, Remember complaining will seldom ever change anything for the better.
Thanks. Do you have any recommended reading. I bought Marcus Aurelius's Meditations but I have yet to read it.
Hmm. Seek out the good in the situation. What lessons can be learned from the lemons? I'll point out something good, you've already acknowledged a problem and are asking for help so you have already taken steps. For some new steps I suppose sprinkle into your daily conversations of how you are aiming to change your mindset. Surely those who want to help will come out of the woodwork.
My father was like that, complain about everything and everyone. It was hard to talk to him because i already know what to expect. It is something that I am trying to improve too but what I miss from my father was he talk positive things about someone, anyone. I think it is a good start. You could also talk to friends, colleges at work and family that you know you complain to much and you are try to change and ask then to stop you when you do that. It seems to be working for a college in my job.
Search on youtube "Forgive me" by Ahmed Bukhatir. It's a beautiful song and you will love it. It reminds us about the gifts we have in our life.
It could be worse. Be grateful for the things you already have, like food or functioning limbs. That is what I have been doing and it does calms me down.
