I'm a Newbie, 22y old. I saw my first video when I was 12y. So it's literally been a decade of porn for me. At first it was so exciting and overwhelming. But I probably don't have to tell you guys about the evolution of it. The first time I actively realized that I'm addicted to porn was around 4y ago. That leaves a lot of times feeling miserable, pathetic and unworthy although I always knew what the Problem was. Since then I'm trying to quit porn. It obviously didn't work out too well, so I wanna give this community a try because I think it's very helpful to share and encourage one another. The longest period I didn't fail was around 20 days. But I wanna do much better from this day forward. I really wonder why it is so hard! No matter how motivated I was a minute ago, if the urge is triggered (sometimes even a stupid youtube thumbnail) I feel like I can't think clearly anymore. I'm only aware of a very strong, even physical sensation that is almost impossible to handle. And soon the cycle continues... Afterwards I feel so numb and unconnected to myself. I'm shocked about the things I've watched because they're not compatible with the way I want to treat any human being AT ALL! Plus I have a wonderful girlfriend and I'm so ashamed when it happened. Fortunately we can talk about everything so she knows. But I'm also so used to feel this way about me. I really need to let go of that part of myself, so I can start being better for the benefit of me and my surroundings! That's gotten longer than intended. Now I'm realizing how often my mind is wrapped around this topic. I'm so glad I stumbled over this communty. All the best to you!
Welcome. Recommend reading the recourse post at the top of this New to Nofap forum, about the 3rd post down. I believe there is a video link in there call your brain on porn. It help explains why this is so hard to break. All the best to you.
Welcome to the forum friend. I'm glad you're taking the right steps. It's a long bumpy road but I think it will be well worth it. Best of luck!
Thank you! I have good knowledge about what happens in my brain, actually. But it's a fine line between knowing what's good and being influenced by something else that makes you forget about it...
Thanks man. I love the pure honesty of your diary! And looking at your counter it doesn't seem wimpy at all. I'm slowly feeling this immense energy rising as well, that doesn't show up if you forget about it. It's so precious. Did you work something out how to be proud of your progress and not feel like a undisciplined loser when the urge was stronger than your mindset? Because I usually felt like shit although I managed not to PMO for 2 weeks... And it's not very supportive because it makes me feel like it's a battle I'm not able to win. (which is bullshit!) That actually makes me realize we also need to learn about being positive and appreciative about our sex drive again. Because for years and years I usually only started masturbating if either I was bored or not in a positive mindset...
Funny you say that, my streak just ended hours ago on day 9. My impulse just struck me like a pouncing monkey out of left field; it was the sum of a few small mistakes. I feel you man. I felt really discouraged and I just wanted to say fck it today and go all out, but what's been helping me is a little system I've been using to overlook all of my progress. I came across this article on productivity a while back. I'll just share the link instead of blabbering about it. https://jamesclear.com/stop-procrastinating-seinfeld-strategy. What I do to integrate my nofap goals is I print out monthly calendars instead of yearly calendars, since I've been struggling just to make it to two weeks. For the days I successfully abstain I cross off the day with a blue marker and begin my "chain." The days where I do mess up, I write in with a red marker how I messed up. (Example: "edging x2" or "PMO"). I couple that with a sheet of paper where I date my failures, the mistakes leading up to it, and what to do when the same trigger comes up. This gives me a general idea where I am at all times and how far I've gone and where I need to be. Everyone is different but that is what's been working for me.
I'm sorry to hear that. But don't feel sorry for yourself! Thanks for the article. Sounds pretty interesting! I'll sneak a peek later on. Your strategy sounds like a good helper. Does it work out though? Making you feel more motivated about keeping it up...? I'm asking because it never really did for me. I thought that keeping notes is enough to make a change. It felt good but subconsciously I never really believed it and sooner or later it happened again. This time I wanna try something else. I have the feeling that we're facing the problem from the wrong end. Like we rely and depend on P + are addicted and now want to undo that. What if we turn that around? Because we aren't fcking depending on that sh*t! We're not tentaculated by P. If we think like that, we'll never get rid of it... I didn't PM for almost a week now and haven't felt better in months. I'm happier, way more self-confident and this morning I woke up before my alarm went off and even felt energetic. Usually I'm tired af. Please try to live your life again and not to NOT PMO! love.
Ya the notes help me out, it adds another layer to my commitment. I'm VERY impulsive and it reinforces situations I need to avoid too. But to each their own my friend. I'm welcome to hearing any ideas too. A week is a great start, I'm glad you're doing good I believe the second hardest part is the first/second week of abstinence, the hardest is staying consistent.
