Hi Everybody, Ok so I have a bit of an issue now. I went on vacation for about a week to another country to see my friends, and delighted to say, got a lot of attention from women. Like a crazy amount- this NoFap thing really works ! Anyway, I met this one girl, and to put it simply, we're crazy about each other. So crazy, that I've invited her to fly over for Christmas for a few days. She is booking her tickets now. Here are my observations : 1. When I was in bed, I noticed that there was indeed attraction with her, I was not quite erect, I'd say about 65%-70%. (I did have quite a lot to drink). 2. It's weird, when I was lying on top of her, I couldn't get fully hard, but when lying on my back, much more successful, but couldn't maintain it. (We didn't have sex, I blamed it on not having a condom). 3. Thank God this is anonymous, but I've only had sex once, and that only time, I was waaay too big for her and I unintentionally kept hurting her while trying to pleasure her. I've told my friends and they think it's funny but I was wondering could this trigger my subconscious mind to panic. I'm not saying this to be macho, no time for that- but I was curious and I measured myself. The national average is 5 inches in length, whereas I am 8.6 inches. Many men would consider this a bonus- but when you are too big to enjoy sex it is not fun at all. 4. I really like this girl and want every chance to have sex with her and genuinely start a relationship. Before I left for vacation, I was on Pharmaton Capsules, which take roughly 4 weeks to work properly. She is coming in 15 days... What will I do ???? Will I get a prescription for Vi@gra? This has to happen, she is traveling hours on a plane to see me! She has told everybody about me. 5. Whenever I think about a future sexual act with her (or anyone) or even the very idea, I get a little panic feeling in my heart, best compared to an electric shock- not a good feeling at all. If you guys could give me advice on this difficult topic, I would hugely appreciate it. Thank you so much guys and gals.
Avoid alcohol specially on medication, and have her stroke it until the time is right. You probably were just nervous if I were you I would avoid Viagr@ If you think you need any thing try raw sea oyesters with a little salt and lemon.
The only thing I can recommend is to not touch yourself down there at all except for urinating and bathing. No edging nothing. You mention mention you were 65-70% erect when you were simply with her in bed, this is a fantastic sign at recovery, it’s the signs I used to see by just cuddling my girlfriend before we got sexual.
You have performance anxiety. Your difficulty in getting and maintaining an erection are most likely psychological. Even if it was PIED your anxiety about the whole thing will kill your boner. First thing you ought to do is recognize the anxiety and try and tackle that first. If you can’t reel in the nerves then I would recommend tellling your girl you don’t want to have sex. By creating that boundary of no sex you won’t have anything to worry about i.e. fear of not performing. And even if one thing leads to another and you end up in the sack, well you haven’t been worrying about it for two weeks so the anxiety will be null. The other route really is to tackle that nervousness. An attitude adjustment and an emotional lifestyle change may be in order. Get to the point you don’t stress about it and you can just enjoy the moments when they arise.
I think flat out telling a girl you don’t want to have sex can be difficult to do. It would cause her to think that it’s because how she looks, from her perspective it’s very confusing for the guy to be saying no sex. It’s just unusual and would lead to questions.
I agree it is performance anxiety. Thats pretty difficult, because it forms a vicious circle. I have had this almost all my life. Stay away from alcohol, don t masturbate too much. Try to be relaxed when you are with her. Perform non penetrative sex with her if you have problems with erection. This can be fun, too. She seems to be a good girl for you, she has already demonstrated patience. Very good sign. If you can t deal with the anxiety, go ahead, see a doctor and get some vi@gra - satisfaction guaranteed. You have the same symptoms as I do. Thats what i would do nowadys just to make sure the girl does not get disappointed.
I agree. I didn’t think that the confusing and awkwardness that accompany that choice was worth noting because it is quite obvious. It would all depend on the people involved and what he told her the reason was. I believe people should be honest with their partners so telling her the truth would be ideal. I believe lying to her is not a good way to enter into a relationship. But, you could always just say you respect her and want to get to know her much closer before having a sexual relationship.
yeah its performance anxiety , just go down on her , pleasure her whole body and make her come before penetration . So if it isnt hard or you have difficulty maintaining erection because of stress it wont be a big deal! Just make sure when it doesnt go well, you dont make a big deal about it.that is really crucial!!!!!because if you do,she will too. i am very sure about that , just laugh with it and let her give you a massage , women love giving and women understand for first time men can be nervous too. But if it keeps going like that i would recommend citrulline and arginine and sports or meditation , ashwaganda helps too. if she flies in be sure she will wanne have sex even if she doesn't initiates this. Just focus on the whole aspect , giving her a good time. For the sexual part, just enjoy whole her body and satisfy her orally first, dont just try to penetrate her and make her come because with a semi soft boner thats very hard to do. Make the whole thing enjoyable and make her laugh and if your intimate dont rush it. I would definitely not tell her not wanting sex or out of respect or something like that, women arent stupid. Go with the flow and see where it leads. You dont have to be some stud, be someone she enjoys immensely and who she wants to be with. By telling her you dont want sex it will be very akward and a blatant lie. and not wanting sex with a women is not showing some kind of respect. In this case it's a premeditated strategy to conceal your performance anxiety which is insincere. Dont try to be perfect, because we arent. have fun! The nerves are part of the game. You only get rid of the anxiety experiential not by thinking about it. its doing and have succes experience that breathe confidence , nothing else.
what T-80 said. That is the only way to get past the vicious circle of performance anxiety other than medication. Telling the girl that you don't want to have sex is a very bad idea, I think. It is not the truth and she would be more than just disappointed, I guess.
It is interesting that we've gotten to a point where single men feel pressured to sexually perform for single women. In tje old days, she would have kept him waiting until he was ready to explode.
