pain that wont go

Hey man,
Have been masturbating for the past 10 years since 11 year's of age.I have been fighting this addiction for the past 7 years now. I ve lost my teenage doing shit, not making friends, never felt free, never had the guts to look in people's eyes. I had a fucking gyno and PM addiction, never felt energy between my legs, was unable to walk upright. The world seemed lost like its black and white without colors, had eye floaters, had emotional disturbances. Had fucking anxiety like iam gonna die the next moment and I am not kidding here. Had paranoid thoughts, had fucking OCD which would make me do shit to save myself. My brain was so filled with lust and dopamine that i could barely sense things I had become numb like a drug addict even though i never took drugs, never smoked or never took alcohol. Had never felt compassionate towars others, could never talk to a woman with honesty. I have seen the demon with my own eyes, have felt its heat and had been dragged by it.
You know what, I had been gifted with a decent family and decent looks but these are the shit things I forced on myself only to discover at the age of 21 why the fuck was I having these problems? when everything else in my life was OK. The answer I got was this Mutha**cking PMO addiction. So I thought to myself, Should I save myself? Hell YES I must! cuz this was not what I was supposed to be. I knew deep down inside how I was being dragged to hell by something utterly monstorous. It was time to kill that monster, Because YOU ARE DIFFERENT FROM YOUR ADDICTION. You should not let a son of a bit*h addiction control your life Cuz you are born free, to achive greatness in this world not to be a slave to some bullshit!
Can you imagine just for one moment how your life would have been if you never wore those handcuffs?. I bet, it would have been much better cuz you would be at ease with yourself, I know life has fucking problems already why to increase that weight dragging PMO with you? LEAVE THE PMO and learn to fly man, cuz I did it Iam nearly 200 days close now and I can truly say 'There is no worth in being the audience in life Just go and perform!'
I Know you can do it brother, there are so many people who did, just take care and sorry if I ve been a little too bold at things but couldn't say less.
Kill that monster and conquer the world!
Good Luck!