PIED problem ... have some questions

BetterThanYou321 · Oct 27, 2018

Hey,

So today it's 2 months since I started hard mode... And generally I have zero problem with sustaining from porn/masturbation. BUT, as a person who started all of this because of PIED, my main question is this: how do you go from knowing you're unable to get an erection with a partner to trying to do something sexual with a girl you really like?

There's this girl I'm currently starting things off with and she's super sexy and super cool and knowing that I really like her it's kind of hard trying to start off anything sexual between us if I know it's likely I won't be able to get it up. I guess my question is, is there a magical moment where you suddenly feel reconditioned and able to be turned on by something other than a magical fantasy similar to what you get from porn, or you go in blind and have to struggle through the process until you actually are able to do it? Please share any personal experience you have related to do this, any point of view is appreciated and will help me greatly.

Yuro1111 · Oct 28, 2018

Im in the exact same boat you are mate! yes any info would be great I also would like to know! Ive had bad experiences with girls in the past and im on day 18 tomorrow and im thinking the same thing, when I have a chance with a girl again I don't know what to expect? Since in the past I haven't been able to get erect.

Healed! · Oct 28, 2018

There is no real way to know. Spontaneous and morning erections are a positive sign, but not proof positive. The only way I know to deal with the problem is to be engaged in a committed relationship where your SO is interested in more than your sexual abilities and is willing to accept and forgive your shortcomings. Ultimately that gives the confidence to push through failures to more consistent successes. Even then, I continue to have some days when the equipment doesn’t work as well as I’d like. Since having sex seems to be a big focus for you, have you tried ED drugs?

BetterThanYou321 · Oct 28, 2018

I have not, but I would never consider that an option. I'm perfectly confident that there's nothing physically wrong with me - I've just had a bad habit that has reconditioned my brain and with perseverance and patience that can be fixed. What I am interested in is how does the process go along? Should I keep on going, taking it slow and waiting for time to heal things, or do I need to try to have sex to make any progress? If the latter, then how do people deal with that? If you are in a serious relationship then yes, maybe your SO could be considerate and support you through this, but when you're single and in your early twenties that kind of makes things harder. That's why I wanted to hear some experiences.

Coolyorky · Oct 28, 2018

BetterThanYou321 said: ↑

I have not, but I would never consider that an option. I'm perfectly confident that there's nothing physically wrong with me - I've just had a bad habit that has reconditioned my brain and with perseverance and patience that can be fixed. What I am interested in is how does the process go along? Should I keep on going, taking it slow and waiting for time to heal things, or do I need to try to have sex to make any progress? If the latter, then how do people deal with that? If you are in a serious relationship then yes, maybe your SO could be considerate and support you through this, but when you're single and in your early twenties that kind of makes things harder. That's why I wanted to hear some experiences.
Click to expand...

Hello mate
I’m in the same boat. Currently day 50 hard mode. I have pied. Numerous occasions with women not been able to perform. Always blamed alcohol. One time I wasn’t drunk and had to make excuses. Erections are coming back. Get them thinking of real women (never think of P). Something has changed which gives me hope but it is still frustrating. Doubts can creep in. You have to keep faith in the process. After years of using P it’ll take time to reboot. Numbers and dates can be daunting 90 day reboot and 365 day challenge etc accept this is you now. NO P.

You’re better than P. It’s holding us back! All of us on here are at war with this.

Yuro1111 · Oct 28, 2018

Coolyorky said: ↑

Hello mate
I’m in the same boat. Currently day 50 hard mode. I have pied. Numerous occasions with women not been able to perform. Always blamed alcohol. One time I wasn’t drunk and had to make excuses. Erections are coming back. Get them thinking of real women (never think of P). Something has changed which gives me hope but it is still frustrating. Doubts can creep in. You have to keep faith in the process. After years of using P it’ll take time to reboot. Numbers and dates can be daunting 90 day reboot and 365 day challenge etc accept this is you now. NO P.

You’re better than P. It’s holding us back! All of us on here are at war with this.
Click to expand...

Yeah, its always in the back of your mind, nothing worse than not being able to perform. I did the same, always blamed alcohol but I never knew about PIED until just before I started this. Im on day 18 hard mode now and going to 90 and I know I will because I want to overcome this!!!!! I may have a time coming up soon with a lady friend but I don't know if I want to go through with it until I do my 90 days. Fuck porn.

Fapenstein · Oct 28, 2018

Create a deep spiritual connection and you may surprise yourself. Dont do it for the sex. Do it and enjoy the experience of being intimate with her. Get into her mind and soul, connect with her and dont worry about your Weiner or stage fright. Maybe just a little foreplay and cuddling/kissing is enough. Be patient for now.

dbp2252 · Oct 29, 2018

I don't how relevant this will be for you all. Judge at your own level.

I started NoFap because I was getting very weak erections with porn.(I was a virgin - till a month ago) - so had these problems for a year or so. Just never thought about it in this way, just ignored it. Thought it was due to genere of the porn or something like that . Later when I googled it found out that it was due to too much porn.

Some physical symptoms of mine at that time :
1. Had a shrunken penis
2. Least interest in vanilla porn
3.semi hard penis with porn
4.didnt experience the "satisfaction" one gets after a healthy orgasm , rather would feel guilty ...and drained in a very bad way.

Starter my hard mode NoFap also at the same time was getting to know a girl(how she came in picture is a different story)
Was just texting her ..once or twice in a day or two ..focus was only to know her ..from day one I was under tremendous strain due to this situation..always thinking about how it will happen and wether or not things will be right ..along with this..was doing some physical activity everyday. Alongside was knowing her..i liked her a lot. At day 27 had wet dream ..on day 77 felt and observed a natural elongation in my penis ..it again went away in 2/3 days ...felt a good positive vibe in those 2/3 days but again was at square 1 ...started getting semi morning wood after day 60 ..once in a while ...some nights it was erect some nights it wasn't as appealing as one would want...but in this same time frame I used to get semi erections..while talking to my girlfriend ...had no physical contact with her..till then. I met her 2-3 times had a semi erection only once when sitting across her. This continued.. on day 105 made my first attempt ...for first base...had some very strong erections..later on on day 107 tried sex ..but couldn't get hard with condom..it was a total failure ...kept trying sex in vagina every 10 days but with out condom. ...on 3rd attempt was able to penetrate ..but had PE ...no working on that..

Sorry for such long story. But the crux is . It happened gradually in my case..it's been almost 150 days since I have last watched porn...and now I am doing easy mode (no PM ) ..I think if you are not going to rewire in this phase ...you need to rely on following things :
1. Morning erections (not necessarily that they should last for a long time or some thing ) but how often do you get them ..are how strong they are on the scale of erection...

2. Penis size ( I don't know how relevant it is for you)

3. Any random erections ..even if they are semi

Rewiring may help you in a way better way and speed up the process ..if you have a GF...or are in a relationship ...spend some time doing hard mode and then start rewiring ..initally with just first base. ...till you become very comfortable and then move on next level ...

Sorry if it's not that relevant .
Wishing you all ...all the very best ...trust me we can overcome these issues

BetterThanYou321 · Oct 29, 2018

Great, thank you all for the replies. I think it's important to share our experiences and approach towards this, so that we can get a different look on things.

Personally, I don't track whether I have an erection or not, as I know that it's irrelevant - if I turn on porn I'll get a boner instantaneously, but if I'm with a girl I probably won't. Imo it only matters if you really feel the change and realize that you're getting steady erections in the right situation - that's when you'll know you're 'cured'. But isn't that a byproduct rather than your goal itself?

We've all been masturbating to porn our whole lives and don't know anything else - and then suddenly you try to have a sex with a girl and see that it's unlike anything you've been doing so far. Your penis isn't conditioned for it, your mind isn't conditioned for it and your idea of the whole process isn't what it should be in general.

You should first realize that sex isn't clearly defined - there's no requirements on what you should do, or what your girlfriend should do. You're both just enjoying yourselves - that's how it should be, always. Well then when you're with her just try to enjoy yourself, to the best of your ability - any anxiety or pressure you put on yourself is totally meaningless when you think about it. Even if you're unable to perform straight away, that shouldn't bother you - you can pleasure her in other ways and you'll get so much satisfaction out of that. Plus, it's probably the best thing to do to recondition yourself to be turned on by 'this', what are you doing right now that feels so right both for you and for her, rather than masturbation and porn, which you realize are so fake compared to the real thing.

These are again only thoughts in my head, I'm trying to work through this just like you guys are, but I'm confident that a clear mindset, free from any anxious thoughts, is a must for you to see things the way they are.

dbp2252 · Oct 29, 2018

BetterThanYou321 said: ↑

Great, thank you all for the replies. I think it's important to share our experiences and approach towards this, so that we can get a different look on things.

Personally, I don't track whether I have an erection or not, as I know that it's irrelevant - if I turn on porn I'll get a boner instantaneously, but if I'm with a girl I probably won't. Imo it only matters if you really feel the change and realize that you're getting steady erections in the right situation - that's when you'll know you're 'cured'. But isn't that a byproduct rather than your goal itself?

We've all been masturbating to porn our whole lives and don't know anything else - and then suddenly you try to have a sex with a girl and see that it's unlike anything you've been doing so far. Your penis isn't conditioned for it, your mind isn't conditioned for it and your idea of the whole process isn't what it should be in general.

You should first realize that sex isn't clearly defined - there's no requirements on what you should do, or what your girlfriend should do. You're both just enjoying yourselves - that's how it should be, always. Well then when you're with her just try to enjoy yourself, to the best of your ability - any anxiety or pressure you put on yourself is totally meaningless when you think about it. Even if you're unable to perform straight away, that shouldn't bother you - you can pleasure her in other ways and you'll get so much satisfaction out of that. Plus, it's probably the best thing to do to recondition yourself to be turned on by 'this', what are you doing right now that feels so right both for you and for her, rather than masturbation and porn, which you realize are so fake compared to the real thing.

These are again only thoughts in my head, I'm trying to work through this just like you guys are, but I'm confident that a clear mindset, free from any anxious thoughts, is a must for you to see things the way they are.
Click to expand...

Very true. A clear mindset free from anxious thoughts is must.

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PIED problem ... have some questions

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