I know I need to kick this porn addiction out of my life. I know how better my life would be. I am addicted. It started at a young age, I think 4th grade. I would lay in bed unable to sleep and just play with myself. Then I found that there are videos on YouTube.. Then about a year or two ago I started watching pornhub. I'm seventeen now. It's been 8 years of porn and masturbation. I know how much better my life could be and the benefits that come with quitting, but I need encouragement. Please, my brothers, please help me out. Thank you.
Dear Ukerbr, Glad to see that you're changing yourself this early! Know that you can make it, and that many people are doing it every day. I am nearly twenty years older than you, and I think you should be proud of yourself for finding the determination to change so young. Good for you. There's a bunch of tips and information in my journal that you'll find useful. Check it out here: http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?23228-Using-neuroscience-tips-in-NoFap/page22 Stay strong, and know that you can easily beat your PMO addiction. Lots of us are working on ours, and it gets easier as you go along. Plus, imagine - people learn to fly planes, firefight, win chess championships, learn formula one racing, swim from Cuba to Florida, and do so many other 'impossible' things. You and I can beat addiction easily, and do so much more. Once you start believing in yourself, nothing can stop you. You will succeed in your journey to be addiction free, and in living a healthy and happy life! Believe it - you will succeed! Cheers!
Totally agree with everything anthrope says. You can do this. You need to know that quitting P needs a lifestyle change and not just avoidance. That might mean practical things like filters, accountability partners and so on, but also a change in mindset too where you decide what you want to achieve in life and go and attain those goals, to fill the void that is left behind. The best thing you can do is make a plan of how you are going to tackle this using the various resources available to you (including on this site) and work out exactly where you want to be. And keep posting on here to let us know how you are doing - everyone on here will support you. Good luck.
Thank you guys, I really appreciate your advice. Anthrope, I have been reading your journal you put the link to, and it really has been helping out. I love the mindful meditation. Thank you both for your help and concern. It means a lot.
Thank you, Ukerbr. Incidentally, I've found small achievable targets will give you a lot more success. What if you changed your 90 day goal to a 7 day goal, and got through it. You can change it to 15 days when you make it to 7. But seeing yourself succeed for each of the small goals will really boost your confidence. Just a thought. One thought helped me get through more than a year of nofap: "I will get through the next 24 hours, no matter what; the future can take care of itself." That was an invaluable tool for making the challenge seem much smaller. Cheers!
Getting out of the addiction to a new life is like learning a new language, or a music onstrument: You go in tiny little steps. One after one. Thus, give yourself very small goals. Just one LITTLE goal TODAY. What do you want to achieve today? Write it down on a piece of paper and put it in your pocket. When you should feel the urge to PMO, then take out the paper, relax, and then do the work you wroite down. As said: Make only a SMALL goal for today. It is always a very tiny impulse, which leads us either to do something useful, or to PMO.
It was really great to know that you are really determined to stop your addiction to pornography. And I hope you won't feel bad about yourself as it is a common existence to youth and there are a lot of other guys out there who have the similar experience as you have. A one-snap change doesn’t exist, of course, you have to realize that it takes time to achieve change. I’m glad that you know how good quitting can bring to your life. If you need encouragement, it is always within you. You have to set a goal, what do you want to achieve? What kind of YOU would you like to be? What things couldn’t you do if you won’t stop? And when you know the answers to these questions, you can start, because you have the mindset. But you have to do it gradually. Always remember, it’s all in the mind. You are the master of your own faith. In fact, you have a lot of things you can alot your time with, be productive! Just keep in mind that thousands, even millions of men are addicted to porn as well so you are not alone. If others can, why can’t you? Hope this helps.
It's really about making the choice to do something other than fap and making that choice over and over again every day. Recognize that it is a choice. It may not be easy, but it is a choice. And the more you make the choice to do something else, the easier it'll get. Keep going!
In regards to having the determination but not being able to stop. Th, is video will explain much of that Skillpower over willpower: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TX-Nu5wTS8 I have watched this several times and created my own poster based on it to stick up on the wall of my room, it's gold Good luck man and props for starting early (ish)
The hardest time is the BEGINNING. The first 3 days. They are like a shock to you. After 3 days, you start to become used to it. After 10 days, you begin to settle into a new lifestyle. Therefore, in the beginning you really need to prepare yourself. Like a skiing racer at the start, before he is racing off. In his mind, he goes through the whole track, he sees himself in every part of the track, he sees all the obstacles and chances on the track. Do it the same like the skiing racer. Especially think of the things YOU WANT TO DO. And think about HOW you want to do them. Keep in mind that you need to go to NEW goals. It is NOT SUFFICIENT to stay just abstinent. If you stop fapping, you suddenly have PLENTY OF TIME!! So USE IT! Do GREAT things which will truly fulfill you!
Guys I did it! I went a week without fapping. Finally. And it feels great. Thank you guys for your support and advice. How long do you guys suggest my new goal should be? I'm not sure if it should be two weeks, two months, I'm not sure. Thank you again, my brothers. It brings me happiness seeing a community acting together to help each other.
Congratulations on taking the first steps on breaking the cycle. It might be a long journey and you may stumble and fall many times but always stay positive. I would recommend to start by getting rid of all the devices you use to watch porn. Look at this addiction as a war with yourself and when you lose a battle you have to change you tactics which can be filters, exercise, meditation, etc. because it may take a bit to figure out what your triggers and motivations are to watch porn. Good luck!
My advise is to make peace, not war ! The more you "fight" the more you "fail". Your inner self wants a PEACEFUL life, not war ! Therefore, make peace with yourself, accept yourself, become a balanced person, then PMO will fade away by itself.
You've already beaten my longest streak by four days. You should be proud of the fact that you made it this far. At this point, your brain is starting to rewire itself, but the power of habit is still present.
AwesomenessPrime, I at first set a goal to reach ninety days without PMO. But, with a goal that huge, every time I relapsed, the more I felt like the goal was out of reach. Earlier in this thread, I received a suggestion to lessen my goal to a week, and try to accomplish that goal. After a few tries, I finally did it. Even though 7 days is much smaller than 90, it felt amazing to finally complete a goal. That gave me a great boost. May I suggest the same for you? 90 days is a daunting task at first, so working your way up seems to be the best way to do it. Starting smaller and working your way up to bigger goals, and eventually completely getting rid of PMO. Just a suggestion, my friend. I have faith in you!
I find that making smaller goals is easier to achieve. I then tell myself "Don't throw out you success you've already achieved" Force yourself to do something productive.
@Ukerbr: 90 days is daunting. I must admit that it seemed so unrealistic to me. I do believe I'll take you up on that suggestion.
I relapsed today, guys. Pretty bummed out. But I think that I learned what I need to do though. I'm very into the ideas of seclusion and minimalism. I love this idea: Instead of having a lot of things that you don't need, nor really use, keep a small amount of things that you really love. Things that you need, things that are important and useful to you. I strive to implement that philosophy into my life, and I think I have discovered a crucial step in the process of living with few things and the process of quitting PMO. I have an iPad, an iPhone, and a laptop. Three easy devices to access porn on. Basically the only time i get most tempted to PMO is at night when I'm in bed. What I need to do is get rid of least one of those electronic devices, and I think it's going to be the iPad. With the absence of my iPad, I can keep my laptop downstairs, and my phone somewhere else, eliminating my access to porn at night. This would also give me more sleep, which I definitely do not get enough of. I don't need my iPad. Heck, I don't need my laptop either. But I'm going to move slowly in the direction of dwindling down what I own to what I love/need. I think with my iPad gone, it will be much easier for me to eventually knock porn out of my life forever.
