The Journey of a 15 Year Old Male

Hey guys! Let me introduce myself: I am Isaac and I've been rebooting for 3 months, but I never have the success I really want... My longest streak is 12 days, and I think that's pretty disappointing. BUT! I'm not giving up. So, I was thinking, what better way to improve myself by helping others improve too! So this is a community journal which is like a normal reboot log, but all of you guys can share your thoughts, intentions, and daily recaps here! So.. let me start:

DAY 1

Today, I didn't really do much because I've felt a cold come on... and I reset my counter because I saw a pornographic image (on accident), but dwelled on it for at least 10 seconds, so I'm considering that a relapse. But I learned from my lesson and I now know to turn away any triggering images that may come my way! My intentions for this journey is to study up my scriptures daily and pray to God every day.

 

DAY 2

Today I had a really good day. I got to spend it with my sister who is in town and we just chilled the most part of it. I played a lot of basketball today. It is like my therapy! SUGGESTION TO ALL OF YOU: Find your "therapy", whether it be art, or running, or football, or boxing... anything to do! Go do those things when you are tempted and you will feel a lot better than when you PMO.

Feel free to journal here

 

Good for you! Keep the positive energy up I feel like the more the community helps each other, the more successful we will be. See you on the fully recovered side

 

Day 3

Still pushing strong! No doubts, no fears! Today was a great day. I saw a musical performance about the life of Christ and it really gave me hope that even the worst of sinners can become the greatest servants of God. We just have to love God's children like he does! Sending infinite amounts of love to you guys

 

Day 4

Today I had a great day, and a weird day at the same time. At school, literally I did nothing. When I got home, I was planning to go to the gym and no one could take me, so I tried to find something positive to do instead. I was so diligent in my positivity that the day flew by fast and it's almost bed time!! So, advice to you all: Instead of focusing on all the stress from the reboot, make the positive things. Focus on making your desires to be positive and your desire to relapse will fade and you can make progress in your life!

Feel free to journal here!

 

Day 5

Oh man... today was just an endless stream of stress and urges. I started off the day running late for school, and when I got there, I was reminded of this project that was due tomorrow, which I will do right now because I forgot about it again. Then, all this drama with a particular person got in the way and the drama was centered around him and I, so I had to make a decision to completely drop our friendship, or else things would get worse between him and I. When I got home, I was borderline about to relapse, but I reminded myself what it was really worth, so I read scriptures instead and my mood got boosted. I also talked with a potential girlfriend about things and she totally made my day, like always. But everything has calmed down. But keeping things positive, I can assure myself in the future that all urges pass eventually and that weakness can be come strength through abstinence and faith in God. Heck of a day! Lots of learning experiences and ready to wake up tomorrow with a fresh and renewed mind!

Feel free to journal here!

 

Day 6

Today was a lot less stressful thankfully, but I felt a heap of anxiety and depression. The morning started out fine, and I was actually motivated to tackle this day, but when I got to school, I just started sweating out of nervousness for some reason... On throughout the day, I was just hearing a lot of dirty jokes and very tempting conversations that I just had to tune out, but I got a lot of urges from that, thankfully I was in a public place. When I got home from school, I took a nap and read the scriptures, but I still had urges. When I was about to burst, thank goodness I was going somewhere today! I had a youth activity for my church and we played hockey in the church parking lot. I even scored a hat trick! Now I am sitting here at home with bruised kneecaps haha but I am just thankful I was able to release all of that sexual tension that I had through a nice game of hockey! Now I am about to get a good night's sleep and wake up refreshed for a new journey tomorrow!

Overall Mood: 5/10
Spiritual Goal Completed: YES
Physical Goal Completed: YES
Mental Goal Completed: NO
Social Goal Completed: YES

Feel free to journal here!

 

Day 7

Today was so much better than yesterday! School wasn't half bad! Headache inducing, like always, but I got a lot of stuff done! When I came home I took about a two hour nap and it just boosted everything mentally! I got a good workout in and I'm starting to realize how much better my life can be when pornography is out of the equation! Now I know that most days won't be this good, so I need to use good days like this to prepare myself for upcoming and powerful urges. Also, today I met a few good people on here and I feel like I've got myself an army in this struggle! REAL TALK: YOU CANNOT DO THIS ALONE! I was in a conversation today and the other person said "It's ironic, isn't it? People go online to escape boredom, but they don't realize that online is why their bored." I think this is the truest statement that has ever been said. Real people are so much better than pixels on a screen! Anyway, I'm going to read my scriptures right now to lift my mood even higher and wake up tomorrow with an even better one! Good night, y'all!

Overall Mood: 9/10
Spiritual Goal Completed: YES
Physical Goal Completed: YES
Mental Goal Completed: YES
Social Goal Completed: YES

 

Day 8

Today was a very up and down day... I went to school and I was just getting so annoyed of everything, I wasn't feeling like myself. Then when I got home, all this exhaustion made me think about relapse for the first time in this streak, but I held off... I took a nap, and the reason I held off was because I was going bowling with a girl and some of her friends at her school. Sadly, when I meet new people, I get a lot of social anxiety and I could just feel it kick in to the max tonight, I literally said two words for the first 2 hours. Then after an anxiety filled day, I was just like "YOLO" and I started talking more and felt more comfortable. Sometimes I feel like I put to much stress on myself to make conversations with other people that when I do start talking, I realize all that anxiety was for nothing. But at the end of the day, I got to meet some really fun people and I got to strengthen my "relationship" with this girl more. (We're not dating yet, so that's why I put quotations around relationship)

Overall Mood: 6/10
Spiritual Goal Completed: NO
Physical Goal Completed: NO
Mental Goal Completed: NO
Social Goal Completed: YES

 

Day 9

Today was a really good day with absolutely no urges! I woke up and went to the temple, or a worship place in my religion, and I was there for nearly 3 hours. I feel so peaceful when I'm there and I wish I could attend more often. Afterwards, I played a lot of basketball and I am finally getting my shot back after a while. Then this evening, I went to Buffalo Wild Wings with my family and it was absolutely delicious, now we are just chilling at home and everything is going great! I haven't been this happy in a while and I am making a lot of progress thankfully!

Overall Mood: 9/10
Spiritual Goal Completed: YES
Physical Goal Completed: YES
Mental Goal Completed: YES
Social Goal Completed: YES

 

Day 10

Today was such a great day! The only part that was annoying was losing an hour of sleep, but oh well... Anyway, I got up and went to a Church Leadership Meeting (Mormon/LDS Church) and I went to church right after that, and it was really good! I learned that all things good are evidence of God. Today was also my sister's birthday, so I hung out with my family and some family friends. And I ate all the cake I could fit in my stomach haha! Long story short, nothing went wrong today and I feel really happy as of now. Time to start another journey tomorrow!!

Overall Mood: 10/10
Spiritual Goal Completed: YES
Physical Goal Completed: NO
Mental Goal Completed: YES
Social Goal Completed: YES

 

Keep it up ! You can do this !

 

Day 11

Today was a pretty good day. Didn't really do anything though and I kind of feel under-productive, but tomorrow is a new day. Today was fast and I played a lot of basketball, so pretty fun!

Overall Mood: 7/10
Spiritual Goal Completed: NO
Physical Goal Completed: YES
Mental Goal Completed: NO
Social Goal Completed: YES

 

Day 12

Victory of the Day: I learned how merciful God is and even if you feel you have made a mistake, you can be forgiven.
Setback of the Day: Dwelled on a professional cheerleader in a sexual way.

Summary: Today was just a plain-old, boring school day. I went to school and pretty much filled out worksheets the whole day. Honestly, the only reason I showed up today was to get marked for attendance haha. But the quarter ends tomorrow so on Thursday, I will get a nice, fresh start! I played a lot of basketball and I almost made my best dunk yet. Afterwards, I went for some Fro Yo with the family. The only downside is that I dealt with a heap of urges today.

OVERALL MOOD: 7/10

Spiritual Goals:
Scriptures-
Meditation-
Physical Goals:
Basketball-
8 Hours of Sleep-
Mental Goals:
Homework-
Don't Procrastinate-
Social Goals:
Talk with a friend-
Talk with a family member-

 

Day 13

Victory of the Day: I got out and had a social life.
Setback of the Day: Usual urges.

Summary: Today I went to a church dance for Youth Conference and I got to just relax there and have fun, dance with a couple of girls and that's about it. More about Youth Conference is coming soon!

OVERALL MOOD: 8/10

Spiritual Goals:
Scriptures-
Meditation-
Physical Goals:
Weight Training-
8 Hours of Sleep-
Mental Goals:
Homework-
Don't Procrastinate-
Social Goals:
Talk with a friend-
Talk with a family member-

 

Day 14 (Streak Day: 0)

Victory of the Day: Starting anew.
Setback of the Day: Relapse.

Well. Time to move forward^^