I want to end this challenge

Hang in there man...

 

Ok,I think you have overloaded yourself with guilt and frustration and you just want to stop this feeling.
Maybe try an unorthodox method - just go faping for a week, without guilt. Take exactly 7 days of no guilt masturbating ONCE to TWICE a day, wouldn't recommend more - and then start anew. But FUCKING START ANEW AND MEAN IT.
I too had quite good perspective even before NoFap(that confidence, good looking, clear face without acne, energy, optimistic perspective on life..), but dude, this thing turns you into a Demigod that's way too good of a thing to pass for life...
Make your life the best you can, you have only one.
Best of luck!

P.S.: I get this is a strange thing to recommend and I wouldn't do it in most cicumstances, but if you have beet trying and failing for 1,5 year, man, do you deserve a week rest But then go full open mode and don't fap for the rest of your life, it's so much worth it.

 

Keep at it, you can do it. I think it's a bit like learning to ride a bike; it will take a while, you might fall one, two,or 200 times, and it'll frustrate you. But once your balancing on two wheels it feels amazing, and all past pain seems insignificant to the fierce sense of accomplishment.

Relapsing sucks. Try to figure out what caused your relapse, and how to overcome it. Also I read somewhere that porn-addiction is a symptom, not a disease, there's often something deeper that causes us to turn to porn. Relapsing is falling off the bike; get back on the bike and try again.

I hope that didn't seem to preachy. Good luck on your journey; stay strong!

 

Hi,

I've got 75 days of no Porn. 50 Days of no MO so far.

What I find is working? Practice stopping the mental pattern that leads to PMO. Never ever let yourself indulge in mental porn (fantasies).

Mental porn is like an alcoholic having a beer .... and then wondering why 2 days later he is back to drinking Vodka.

So practice interrupting the mental pattern. Train yourself to have a new mental sequence of events.

Forget about the porn filters. That is like trying to "lock up a dog". You need to train your dog (mind) how to behave. Otherwise, your mind will always misbehave when it has a chance, just like a bad dog will misbehave when it is out of it's cage.

Porn filters do not address the problem. You need to train you mind to the point that you can see sexy images, but your AUTOMATIC response is to look away and/or not click on them

Don't be afraid of triggers. Think of them as an opportunity to practice.

Good luck.

 

Here is another tip. Think of relapses as a learning experience. Don't think of them as "failure". No one ever accomplished anything without set-backs.

Mental training takes practice. Pay attention to your mind... see what works ... notice what moves you towards relapse.

Practice... practice....practice.

With enough practice, your new mental patterns starts to become automatic.

Kind of like learning to drive stick shift. At first, you need to think hard about every little muscle move. After enough practice, and mistakes, it takes very little mental effort.

 

This is gold.

 

Be patient with yourself.
It takes some time to unpair the link between PMO and sexy/erotic images.
It may not seem possible at times, but just keep giving your brain a chance to reboot.

 

Don't give up or be too hard on yourself. If you fall off just learn from it and get right back on. I struggled for a long time of going a week here and there and couldn't get the self dicipline. What really worked for me was learning to control myself and making new habits. I taught myself to extend the amount of time between PMOing. 3, 7, 10 days etc. Always reaching just a little bit further. Finally you start to forget about it and new healthy habits make their way into your life.