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Feeling down

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Chudmeister, Sep 22, 2018.

  1. Sep 22, 2018 #1
    Chudmeister

    Chudmeister Fapstronaut

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    A few days ago, I got caught looking at porn. Though my wife says she forgives me, I can feel that things just aren't right. I mean I understand why but I still feel depressed about it. I'm used to a lot of affection and now it's none at all. I feel more ashamed and embarrassed at what I did. And I put on a strong front but inside I'm full of despair. Not really much I can do about it, just thought I'd vent and get it off my chest.
     
    Chudmeister, Sep 22, 2018
    Chudmeister, Sep 22, 2018
    #1
  2. Sep 22, 2018 #2
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    I think your wife just needs some time to deal with the momentary betrayal of trust, as long as you show her you're 100% committed to quitting porn and show progress on being transparent and trustworthy, she will return you the favor by giving you all of her affection. Stay positive and good luck to you and your relationship.
     
    Deleted Account, Sep 22, 2018
    Deleted Account, Sep 22, 2018
    #2
  3. Sep 22, 2018 #3
    Chudmeister

    Chudmeister Fapstronaut

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    Thanks a lot we did talk, I do show improvement, I've gotten to a point where it's going away. Not many people understand what its like to be an addict but I know I can beat it. I understand what's going on, my guilt makes me feel bad.
     
    Chudmeister, Sep 22, 2018
    Chudmeister, Sep 22, 2018
    #3
    Peace467 and AngelofDarkness like this.
  4. Sep 23, 2018 #4
    Peace467

    Peace467 Fapstronaut

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    man thats a tough situarion, Im glad ypu shared it with us and could get it off your chest!

    I would say talk as much as possible and be honest - over time trust will return but it takes time to be repaired.

    Being vulnerable and honest about your feelings will help. You need a strong support system and I think* your wife should be the core of that :). Ask her what you can do to repair the trust and how she feels.

    *have no wife, never had a GF
     
    Peace467, Sep 23, 2018
    Peace467, Sep 23, 2018
    #4
  5. Sep 25, 2018 #5
    Chudmeister

    Chudmeister Fapstronaut

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    I do talk to her a lot, things are going well right now, I tell the truth every time now. This addiction is hard to quit.
     
    Chudmeister, Sep 25, 2018
    Chudmeister, Sep 25, 2018
    #5
    Peace467 likes this.
  6. Oct 2, 2018 #6
    havana19

    havana19 Fapstronaut

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    I'm glad to hear you have mentally begun the process of recovery...because w/o the mindset of wanting to stop and wanting to stop for the right reasons, it will not ultimately be successful. Please try to find some resources on "CPTSD" and "Betrayal Trauma" because your wife cannot be your sole or even main source of support. That needs to be other men. Your wife has her own burden and recovery to deal with and you need to understand that, otherwise she may not be able to regain trust and affection in the relationship. The link below is from certified therapist Robert Weiss...he has a broad understanding and experience of sex/porn addiction and partner betrayal trauma. In this talk he is speaking to other therapists, but it is very insightful regarding the process and treatment for partners. Hope it is useful. Good luck

     
    havana19, Oct 2, 2018
    havana19, Oct 2, 2018
    #6

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