I ruined my streak, I've been looking at porn recently some disgusting stuff about step dad's and step daughter, though I would never do anything like that it's always just been watching 2 people have sex, I'm in the dog house right now, feeling embarrassed and ashamed and lost. I did tell the truth when confronted but I can see how my wife would be disgusted by it since we she has a daughter.
Chudmeister I got a little solution. Quickly record a video now of yourself while feeling embarassed and whenever in the future you will be trying to watch P or going to M watch this video first...I hope this is going to work for you lifetime solution...
You did the right thing telling somebody. Falling is ok, you didn't lose your gains with a fall. Just understand the mistake and move on.
It's hard feeling this shame knowing I hurt my wife again, I went a long time without watching porn had to be a few months almost half of year without making myself orgasm. I just feel really disgusting right now. I don't like relapsing at all, it's an addiction that not a lot of people understand. I mean I used to be really had I was addicted to chatrooms sexting and pmo. Now I'm almost to a point where I don't think about porn as much.
I was in a similar situation, my wife found me out. After she confronted, I told the truth, and felt the same ways as you did. She had demands and I did each one, knowing that I hurt her. Had me read a book called "every man's battle" and go to a counselor. It's been over 5 months now and I have to say that was one of the best things that could of happened to me. I feel a freedom from PMO like never before. I'm not struggling like I did in the pass. So get up, dust yourself off. Understand why you fell and revise you plan to deal with it.
Thank you guys for the words of encouragement, I feel really depressed and I need to learn to control myself better. Sometimes I nevee know how this will end when my wife is so furious with me. I know she doesn't really understand how this addiction is like in my head. I honestly want to be normal. I've ways seen porn as porn, and know they are actors but my wife sees it as some sort of sick fantasy. I don't know what the future holds for me right now but I always have to be prepared for the worst. I really don't want to he looked at like I'm some sick pervert
I told my wife about it because she confronted me about it, and lies make it worse and I'm always telling the truth to her. Trust me Bros lies will hurt you in the long run
Just an update, I'm no longer in the dog house, but I still feel pretty crappy about watching porn. I want to break this bad habit, I'm so close. Iove my wife so much, and I've changed so much for her to be who I needed to be.
For me it's gotten easier to resist to where it's not constantly in the back of my mind. There are some men who don't care and don't want to change. I want this gone it not only hurts myself, but also my family.