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Looking for Freedom

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by WhiteFlag, Aug 28, 2018.

  1. Aug 28, 2018 #1
    WhiteFlag

    WhiteFlag New Fapstronaut

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    Hi. I'm a 49 year old married male that has been struggling with internet porn for 20 years. I'm looking for a reboot and return to freedom.

    It started when I was a kid and started crossdressing. Sometime during adolescence I started sexualizing crossdressing through fantasy and masturbation. When I started surfing porn 20 years ago on usenet groups, it was the equivalent of pouring gasoline on fire. My PMO became compulsive. I don't want to think about how much time I have wasted in my compulsive behavior. I can affirm that it has had a significant impact on both my career and my relationships - especially my marriage.

    Nowadays, I struggle with the sissy. femdom and cuckold fantasies along with crossdressing. I'm ED and am only functional when I'm in fantasy mode or during PMO. Removing porn from regular viewing definitely dampens the compulsive thoughts, but I'm finding it very hard to stay away for any extended duration. The longest period without masturbation in the past 20 years has been 30 days. Normally I masturbate around twice a week. I'm looking for support during my reboot.
     
    WhiteFlag, Aug 28, 2018
    WhiteFlag, Aug 28, 2018
    #1
    ITGuy44 and Contentful T like this.
  2. Aug 28, 2018 #2
    Contentful T

    Contentful T Fapstronaut

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    I hope you find the freedom you seek, sir.
     
    Contentful T, Aug 28, 2018
    Contentful T, Aug 28, 2018
    #2
    WhiteFlag likes this.
  3. Sep 4, 2018 #3
    ITGuy44

    ITGuy44 Fapstronaut

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    Hi Whiteflag,
    I'm 44 and have a similar duration 20+ years and story of PMO.
    I totally got into the cuckold fetish and fantasies about it and looking stuff in the net took a lot of my lifetime.
    On the otherhand I did that in isolation and never shared it with my wife, I know it is wrong and I know she will not want it, and I will not want it!
    It is just where excessive porn consume over years broad me, which was always asking for more extreme stuff!
    I'm sure after the reboot and getting out of the porn addiction you will not have a lot of these fantasies left and you will be enough for you wife when you get your selfconsciousnesses back.
     
    ITGuy44, Sep 4, 2018
    ITGuy44, Sep 4, 2018
    #3

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